Losing My Religion
by LaueHime
Summary: After almost losing Peyton to a car accident he feels guilty for, Lucas is going onto some neverending downward spiral where booze and sex seem to heal all of his problems. How far will this go? Can Peyton pull through a ravaging coma ? Can Lucas' friends pull him out of this darkness before it consumes him? rated M to be safe UPDATED OCT.13
1. prologue

**A/N: Hi guys! I just had this new idea of a story and I couldn't wait, I had to write it. This story is gonna be really different than my actual writing.**

**Summary: Set after their return from Texas, Lucas loses the one person he cares the most about. What will happen to him? Which ways will he use to forget about the pain?**

**Warnings : Rated M for drug and alcohol use, violence, bad language and sexual themes.**

**This will definitely not be a happy story so don't like, don't read. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or any of its character. I'm just playing with them**

**Enjoy and leave some reviews, please! I'm a review junkie!**

**_October 2013 note : I've decided to re-edit and beta every chapter (so I can potentially update this story). Sorry it took forever._**

**OoO**

She slid her headphones on and unlocked her iPod screen. She grimaced when she saw the song that popped on the screen. ''Non Believer'' was definitely not the type of song she had in mind to fit her present mood. The angry teenager pressed the ''Menu'' button, scrolling away from_ La Rocca_'s music. It just reminded her so much of the reason why she was mad in the first place, her boyfriend. She took a look at the playlist she was on.

Nothing seemed fit either so she changed to her favourite playlist lately, her heavy metal list of tracks. She scrolled down some _Story of the year_, a bit of _NOFX _and language explicit _Nine inch nails._ She finally came across her new _Hinder _track, ''How long''. Her finger stopped when she saw the song her best friend had given her a few weeks ago.

The girl had told her that she had listened to this song over and over again and that it had helped her get over her ex-boyfriend cheating on her. The blonde girl scrolled some more and finally pressed play. _Carrie Underwood's _''Before he cheats'' played out. She sat in front of her computer screen and waited. Her eyes angry and her features tensed up.

A new window opened right in her face, showing her an IM from her friend Haley. She closed that window without even reading. They'd just gotten home back from Texas where picked up their friend Mouth a few days ago after he'd called them for help. She was deep in her music and didn't realize the hand placed on her shoulder. The girl didn't move. She stayed in front of the computer, her face empty from any emotion. The person whom the hand belonged to went to place a kiss on her cheek but she pulled away.

''What's wrong, Peyt?''

She didn't move. She didn't talk. She was just too hurt to face him. ''I saw you...'' she murmured, still emotionless.

He didn't understand her point. ''So, you saw me?! Just like every time we're together...and?'' he chuckled. She pulled her headphones off and put her iPod on the desk next to her.

''Stop playing dumb with me, Lucas Scott!'' she spat, now finally turning around to face him.

He looked innocent. He just had his hands in his hips, staring at her with questioning eyes. She realized he hadn't done anything with his hair, they were left running straight down is forehead and behind his ears and neck. Her boyfriend was wearing his usual blue jeans with a pale blue T-shirt.

Peyton stared him in the eyes for a moment.

It was his turn to notice her lack of self care. Her hair were messy and she didn't really pay any attention to what she wore. A grey tank and a pair of green shorts was all she had on and she definitely wasn't wearing any make up.

He was lost in his observations so he didn't realize her sudden move. She stood up and slapped him hardly across the face. He stood as well. ''Hey! What the fuck was that for?'' he yelled.

Peyton could feel the tears forming in her eyes. She ran over to the door and grabbed the handle of it.

''You're a Dick! I saw you kissing Brooke yesterday, that's what it's for!'' she spat before slamming the door and running towards the stairs.

''Jesus...'' Lucas moaned before he went after her.

''Peyton, wait!'' he yelled as he heard the front door shut hard.

She slammed the front door and walked as fast as she could down her house's alley.

She couldn't keep the tears in any longer as they fell freely down her cheeks. Peyton was almost running when a hand grabbed her wrist, forcing her to turn around.

''Lucas, leave me please!'' she begged.

''Peyton wait, you accuse me of cheating and then you just run away before I even get the chance to explain?!'' he asked.

Peyton sighed. ''What do you need to explain about a kiss?''

He shook his head. ''You're wrong, I didn't kiss Brooke!''.

She didn't know if she could trust him. He was lying, he was always lying. He lied to Brooke when they were together in her back, he lied to Brooke about the reason he broke up with her, he lied to everyone about that Nikki slut, he lied to Nathan about seeing Haley in NY, he lied to everyone about his heart condition and he was lying now because she saw him kiss Brooke.

''So what? You're going to pathetically tell me that it's not what I think?'' she snapped. Lucas rolled his eyes.

''Look, I don't know what you saw but it was a mistake, ok?! She was playing a stupid game with her friends and SHE kissed me'' he said.

Peyton applied a mean, fake grin on her pale face. ''So two seconds ago she never kissed you and now it's a mistake? You know what I hate more than skirt runners? It's lying bastards!'' she spat before turning her back on him. Lucas sighed in desperation. She never stopped walking away from him.

''Peyton, I'm sorry!'' he yelled but it didn't make her turn back to him.

''The difference between you and Brooke is that I love_ you_!'' he finally said causing her to roll her eyes and stop walking.

He didn't know why but he couldn't go catch her. His heart was screaming at him to go and beg her to forgive him until she did but his head stopped him saying that she probably would never want to see him again. All he wanted to do was to say _shut up_ to the little voice in his head that said it was over but he couldn't. Even with the amount of energy he managed to muster up, his legs wouldn't just carry him further.

''Damn it, Lucas! How could I trust you?'' she yelled.

He sighed. ''I love you so much Peyt...don't you love me?''

She didn't answer. She just looked lost in her thoughts. How could she really trust him after all the lies they lived. She knew though that she needed to be with him and help him with all the stuff going on in his life, such as his heart condition and his sudden discovery that Jimmy never shot Keith but she couldn't find that strength in her heart anymore. It just hurt too much.

Lucas got worried. ''Peyt...don't you love me'' he asked again, almost stuttering.

Several tears fell from her eyes when she looked at him. It was just too hard.

''I loved you Lucas...but not anymore, it hurts too much...I'm sorry'' she whispered the last part. He could see her lips move but it was too soft for him to hear what she was saying.

He lost his attention to her wet and shiny eyes so he didn't see what was coming from the outside.

A blue Jeep turned the corner of the street and before Lucas could do anything, Peyton was rolling over the hood and hitting the windshield. His heart skipped a few beat. How could he have let this happen? He followed the car with his eyes as it started to swerve and finally made full contact with another car. He ran over to where Peyton was lying.

''Peyton! PEYTON!'' he yelled as he kneeled beside her. She was curled up in a weird position and blood poured out from a large cut on her forehead. ''My god Peyton! It'll be okay! Look, I'll call 911. I won't be long, I promise'' he panicked as he picked up his cell phone and dialled the emergency number.

''911, what's your emergency?'' asked a woman on the receiving end of the phone.

Lucas was breathing too fast, trying to find his words. ''It's my girlfriend...she...she's been hit by a car and...''

''Alright sir, just calm down'' the voice said, ''What's your name?''

''Lucas...Lucas Scott'' he stuttered.

''Where are you?'' the woman asked.

''At the corner of, huh, Maple Street...''

''Alright, last question M. Scott, do you have a number where I can join you?''

Number...number...what's my number, Lucas thought. He was nervous and on the verge of breaking down. He tried to recall the digits he was supposed to know by heart before hanging up and shifting all his attention back on Peyton.

''Don't worry, Baby. I won't let you down! I called an ambulance. We're gonna get some help and you'll be okay. Listen, huh, I know you hate me but just do this for me okay, just...hold on! Please Peyt! Just hold on...'' he whispered.

''I...don't...hate...'' she whispered so weakly but loud enough for Lucas to hear. He smiled through his tears. That was all he needed to hear, _she didn't hate him_. God it felt good to know.

''I love you Peyton'' he whispered. ''...and you're going to be fine and then you can ask Brooke who was playing to truth or dare and then you can forgive me...I guess you didn't see the part where I pulled away from her but as long as you trust me, we'll be okay. Please Peyton, be okay! I love you, I love you so much!'', he caressed her soft cheeks and brushed her hair behind her ears.

The loud noise of the sirens came to his ears and he smiled. ''You see, they're here and you'll be fine!'' he said as the ambulance pulled over mere feet away from them. A tall guy walked up to them.

''What happened?'' the man asked. Lucas stood away from Peyton to give him a chance to take care of the hurt woman he loved.

''She's been hit by a car...''

''What's her name?''

''Peyton...Sawyer''

The man lifted tapped Peyton's cheek lightly ''Peyton do you hear me?'', getting no response, he turned to Lucas.

''Has she been conscious at all?''

''Just a few seconds, once...'' Lucas answered.

''Alright, Joey! Quick!''

''I'm coming'' yelled a tall, dark haired and young looking paramedic who was pushing a stretcher and medical material like oxygen supply and blankets. They loaded Peyton onto it and wheeled her to the back of the ambulance.

''Are you coming too, kid?'' Joey asked. Lucas nodded.

The first man he had spoken with went to the passenger side and Joey sat in the back with him. Another man he had never seen before was driving. Lucas couldn't detach his gaze from Peyton's still form. Everytime she breathed, Lucas heart was filled with happiness. As long as they made it in time to the hospital... His girlfriend looked pale and it was hurting him to know that it was mostly his fault because she was mad at him and he could have saved her if he had paid attention to the car or if he'd gotten to her sooner like he had wanted to do so badly.

He was trying to focus more on Peyton than on his own heartbeat because he didn't want to have another heart attack. He just promised himself that this time, he wouldn't let his heart kill him, disease or not, he was going to make it. Even with the fact that his heart burned like hell and that he was quickly running out of air, he was going to make it this time and he would be there for Peyton.

A sudden noise caught his attention. Peyton's heart monitor was screeching. Joey stood from the little bench and checked her neck for a pulse. ''She's crashing!'' he yelled. Lucas' heart hammered in his chest. The young paramedic started manual compressions. It didn't seem to be working so well as the line on the monitor didn't pick a regular rhythm again. ''ONE...TWO...THREE...FOUR...''

Joey was pumping Peyton's chest as Lucas watched the scene in complete horror. ''She's in V-Fib'' he yelled. ''I'm charging the paddles to 200!''

''Clear!'' Joey took the paddles and sent his first charge in Peyton's body causing it to curl up and then fall back down. ''No change, charging to 300!''

Lucas took Peyton's hand in his. ''Come on Peyt, do this for me. Hang on!''

''Clear!'' Joey yelled as he sent his second electric charge through Peyton's lifeless body. It fell back down. ''Still no change, come on Peyton, work with me! Charging to 340!''

Lucas was crying on her arms, no one seemed to notice his pale complexion and his ragged breathing. To them, he was just the guy witnessing his girlfriend's death.

''Clear!'' Joey yelled for the third time now, Peyton's body convulsing but still no change on the heart monitor. ''We're losing her!''

The man from the front of the ambulance yelled to his partner Joey ''We're almost there! Don't let her slip away, Joey!'' the driver said.

Joey nodded ''Just hold on, Peyton! Charging to 360! Clear!'' he said sending the powerful shock through Peyton's body, trying to get her heart to beat, trying to revive her but still nothing changed. Joey looked at his feet and sighed in defeat. ''Time of death, 8:47 am'', he turned to Lucas who was staring at Peyton in shock, ''Sorry kid...''

Lucas watched Peyton as she was wheeled out of the ambulance and into the Hospital. Since Joey had announced the time of death, he hadn't spoken a single word. He was staring blankly at the other side of the car. Joey sat next to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. ''I'm truly sorry kid. I did everything I could. This shouldn't have to happen!''

Lucas didn't face him. He had a blank look and his face was so pale that it seemed like he was the one who needed help. The man noticed his paleness and his ragged breathing for the first time since he saw him. ''Are you okay kid?'' he asked concerned. Lucas didn't move. He didn't speak. He just stared ahead of him.

''Are you okay?'' he repeated. ''I'll tell you what...'' he said while grabbing something in front and pushing a few buttons in front of him. He sat back next to Lucas with an oxygen mask in his right hand. ''Here, you really don't seem good to me, in fact, you look like you're about to pass out and I'm sure you don't want to get yourself a nice room in there...just trust me alright''

Lucas nodded. For once, he didn't complain. He felt really bad actually. The man nodded back and offered him a good comforting smile before he got Lucas on oxygen. ''I just don't want you to pass out on me. Take deep breaths alright. You look like you're about to have a heart attack or something but you're way too young for that, right?''

Lucas sent him a thankful nod and then closed his eyes. He did as he was told and took slow and deep breaths. ''That's it!'' Joey exclaimed. ''Just calm down'' he whispered. As Lucas did so, horrible images of Peyton being hit resurfaced in his mind. His eyes snapped wide open, his forehead covered in sweat.

''Hey, you okay? I told you, just take deep breaths. Just calm down!'' he said while he stared in Lucas' deep blue eyes. Lucas tried to take deep breaths but it was really hard now that he was hearing the noise it made when Peyton was hit over an over again.

''Calm down...'' the man whispered. ''You are not going to pass out...'' he said just too late when he saw Lucas' eyes roll back into his head as he just passed out.

TBC

**Dun dun dun...cliffy end! ****(Love that) sorry... Please tell me what you thought!**

**Next: is Peyton dead? What will happen to Lucas?**


	2. can't take it anymore

_Thank you guys for the amazing reviews__! Made me want to update real soon so this is it. Enjoy!_

OTH

He sat in the armchair like he would usually do for the last month. He would watch her sleep all day and wonder when she would finally forgive him and come back for him. She looked so peaceful with her pale pink cheeks and her blonde curls covering the pillow her head laid on. Lucas sighed. He had been there for a month now. She was alive but at what price?

He could remember perfectly the moment when he thought she was gone. They had brought her back. She was alive now but she was deep in her self darkness. After how serious her injuries were, she was left in a coma, fighting with herself to resurface. How could he have let this happen?

Everyday, his friends would come to the hospital and be with him but at some point, he was kind of annoyed by their presence. It felt really good at the beginning but now all he wanted was some time alone with his girlfriend. He hoped she would finally wake up so he could watch into her deep green eyes and she would say _I love you_. It hurt so much for him to see her like that, so helpless and alone.

He heard a knock on the door but he didn't turn around. Haley placed a warm hand on his shoulder and whispered in his ear "Hey!"

Lucas nodded his head in response and sent a quick gaze to the door where Nathan and Brooke stood. "How is my best friend today?" Brooke asked walking to the other side of Peyton's bed and taking her hand. Lucas groaned.

"Not really good. The doctors worry that if she doesn't wake up soon she might never..." he said, his eyes so dull that Brooke couldn't tell it was the Lucas she knew. It was the very first time she saw him like that. He was just so…emotionless.

Nathan pounded fist with Lucas.

''How you holding up, man" he asked.

"Tryin' to survive this and be there for her…" he answered not taking his eyes away from Peyton.

"Lucas, you look pale. When was the last time you ate?" Haley worried.

Lucas shook his head. "Got a few snacks…", and for the very first time in a month, his eyes burned and tears swelled in them.

"I just want her to wake up you know. It's my fault. It should have been me!" he finally sobbed.

Haley was shocked. "Lucas, this is not your fault! You weren't the one driving that car and you didn't push Peyton in the street either!" she said.

Lucas sighed. "I know. It's just… I can't be here anymore!" he announced before standing.

And he walked out just like that. After all this time, Lucas was giving up.

"Lucas where are you going ?" Nathan yelled. When Lucas didn't stop, he faced the girls and they nodded. It was his cue to go after his brother.

"Lucas wait!" he yelled. Right behind him, he grabbed his wrist which made Lucas turn around.

"What the hell Lucas?" he asked.

"Nathan, would you mind taking care of your own business and leaving me alone" he spat.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Luke?" Nathan was confused. He didn't recognize his brother anymore.

"How would you react if it were Haley who'd been lying there for a month and you couldn't do anything to help her? When all you could do is watch her fight for her life. I think you wouldn't stand that long!" Lucas snapped.

When he realized that Nathan didn't have an answer, he pulled his wrist out of his grip and walked away. Nathan stayed there frozen about how cold his brother was being.

"Wait!" he stuttered but didn't have the strength to run after his brother. Lucas turned one last time

"There's nothing for me here anymore" he said. Walking closer to the exit, he heard Nathan yell.

"So you're going to give up on her just like that?"

Lucas gave no response and left his brother to stand there and ponder.

He walked out the hospital through the main doors. He just needed some fresh air. He had been there for a month now and Peyton wasn't getting any better. Actually, she was getting worse and he wondered what was his point anymore? She'd broken up with him after all. She didn't love him anymore so why would he stay and watch her suffer?

He found a few residents outside of the hospital, smoking and talking to other doctors. A few interns were helping two paramedics to get an old man with an oxygen mask on his face in the hospital and sad visitors sat on benches with whisky flasks or cigarettes.

Lucas sat on a bench next to a man who was smoking. "Been here long?" he asked the man.

The man looked at him. "My wife…she has cancer and they don't think she's going to make it" he said. Lucas sent the man a sorry look.

"I'm sorry…I know what it is trust me. Do you have more of those?" he asked. The man grinned.

"Sure!" he said handing him a smoke. "So what happened to you kid? You're too young to have to watch your lover die!"

Lucas lit the cigarette and turned to face the man. "Apparently not. My girlfriend… she's been in there for a month now… in a coma. I was there when she got hit by this car. I can see the scene in my head everyday. It's haunting me!" he said, dragging the cigarette from his lips and letting the smoke dance out of his lips.

"I understand your pain" the man said. "By the way, my name's Peter" he added, handing Lucas a shaking hand.

"Lucas…" he moaned. "Thanks for the cigarette" he added.

"No problem, but don't make it a habit" he said grinning. Lucas didn't understand at first.

"I've been smoking for 20 years now. You're not a smoker, I can see it. Don't think it's going to make your life better 'cause trust me you're making a mistake. Stay clean kid" he said softly smacking his shoulder. Lucas applied a fake smile on his pale face and threw the cigarette away.

"Thank you, Peter"

"Anytime son!" the man replied.

Lucas stood and walked home. He really felt like crap. It seemed like his entire world was falling apart. When he reached his bathroom, he quickly got undressed and under the hot water of the shower. His stomach was churning. _Maybe I should've eaten something…_ he thought.

He took the soap and cleaned himself as if washing sins from his body. He had to quit basketball because of his heart and without it he didn't really have the occasion to work out. Letting the water fall on his face, Lucas closed his eyes for a second trying to keep what was left in his stomach, inside. He didn't know why, he had the sudden urge to throw up. Closing the water, he reached for the toilet and couldn't resist anymore.

_Woa…what's happening to me?_ he thought as nausea got the best of him. He was being sick for nothing. Could it be the fact the he hadn't really been eating for the past weeks or was it something else? Once he was done cleaning the inside of his stomach, he felt okay. It was gone.

"Weird…" he muttered.

OTH

He entered the crowded bar and walked over to the counter. How surprised was he when the man didn't even ask for his age when he ordered a beer. He took the glass and sat in a dark corner of the bar. Only two tall guys were sitting close to him but they didn't really pay attention to him. He drank and drank until his glass was empty. He ordered another one before he stopped and listened to what the two men were saying.

"Yeah…he told me to keep it low" said the taller one.

"What about the cigarettes and alcohol?" the other one said.

"I told you, first time I smoked I puked… now I can't stop because when I'm clean it makes me sick!''

Was it the reason why he'd gotten sick? It was the first time he smoked, after all. He kept looking at the guys trying to figure out what they were talking about. One of them finally noticed they were being watched.

"Hey you! Got a problem?" he yelled.

Lucas shook his head and lowered his eyes.

"What's the matter" the little guy asked.

"He was listening..."the taller man groaned.

"You don't know that!"

"Jim, he was listening to me!"

"Come on, Larry. Forget it! He's just a kid" Jim said.

"Right… so about huh you know, about the…" Larry said but he noticed Lucas staring again. That made him snap.

"Hey you!" he said standing and walking closer to where Lucas sat. He pounded his large fist on the counter which made Lucas jump. "Will you stop listening!" the man groaned.

Lucas showed no emotion. "I'm not" he said calmly.

"Yes you are and I don't really like it!" the man yelled.

"So what if I was? You're going to kick my ass?!"

Larry grinned at his friend. "Take him" he groaned.

"What!?" Lucas asked.

The guy apparently named Jim took his right arm as the other took his left arm. They left by a door Lucas had never seen before and pushed him in the street. His lack of eating food didn't make him really strong and when he hit the floor, it knocked him hard.

"We're going to show you what_ respect_ is" Larry chuckled kicking Lucas in the gut. "What do you want exactly" he continued.

"You're a cop?" he asked kicking Lucas again. "Tell me!" he groaned while picking the kid's head up by the hair at the back of his neck. "Who do you work for" Larry asked.

"No one! I just thought you could… arggh" he stuttered fighting over the pain. The man punched him in the face. "Thought we could what" he yelled when Lucas' face fell to the ground. He tried to catch his breath again. "Thought we could what" the tall man repeated.

"Help me…" Lucas replied, weakening with the seconds that passed. Then the man's face became blurry and the street behind the bar disappeared. Trashes and garbage bags washed away. The only thing Lucas felt was the foul taste of blood in his mouth and every part of his body that ached before everything went black.

When he opened his eyes, he didn't know where he was. He somewhat ended up there but he didn't know how and why. He was tied up into a chair and two faces were staring at him.

"He's waking up" Larry said.

"We should have left him there" Jim said.

"No because he heard us. Right kid, you heard?" the man yelled. Lucas groaned.

"Where am I?" he inquired.

"In heaven" Jim chuckled.

Lucas shook his head and blurriness slowly faded away. He saw where he was. It was some kind of abandoned house with a minimum of furniture. There was a large wooden table with five chairs, a small counter with a dirty sink and some alcohol bottles and the other corner had a large and old couch with a TV. The room was dark lit and the men made it creepier.

"You wanted our help didn't you" Jim said.

"What the fuck…" Lucas moaned.

"Stay polite with us kid. What you did was rechless… but there is a way we will let you go in one piece", the man smiled revealing his teeth.

He was creepy but Lucas wasn't scared. He was in his mind. What happened to Peyton made him close himself to the rest of the world and he was careless. The only thing that mattered to him now was to find a way to cure his sadness. It could be anything but he was done being the nice guy who was all sweet and caring. He wanted something more. He wanted to stop caring so much because it hurt. He wanted to hide in the darkest of himself and act without caring about the consequences. He was done being sweet. That new part of him was crying to get the hell out and live free. Little did he know that he would finally have that chance.

"There's one deal we can make with you" Jim said.

"Shoot" Lucas said so harshly that the men no longer regretted their decision.

"He's going to be good" Jim said looking at Larry who smiled.

"Hell yeah! Kid, you're going to get into our gang!"

"What gang?" Lucas asked.

"We'll bring you to the big boss as soon as you're untied. He'll tell you. The only thing I can say is that the job is about payback. We teach people to respect their commitment…"

Lucas thought about what kind of job this could be. Jim grew excited.

"And we have free drugs, free alcohol and free cigarettes all we want!"

Lucas smiled. "Do we kill people?"

"If we need to go there, we will" Larry said nodding to Lucas.

"Nice! I'm in"

TBC

_Hope you enjoyed. I didn't really have the heart to kill Peyton but this story is going to rock! The more reviews I get, the more I update._

Next: Lucas finds about his new job, his friends are worried about him, he starts getting really bad.


	3. Bill

_Sorry guys for the long wait and thanks a lot for the real__ly nice reviews! In the few next chapters, I'll try making flashbacks so you understand what happened in the long month that passed since Peyton's accident. I have SO many ideas for this story so stay tuned! Flashbacks are in italics_

The three of them got in a black _Savana GMC_. Lucas sat in the back while Larry and Jim got in the front, Larry behind the steering wheel. They laughed and laughed. Lucas watched the road as Larry turned the corner of a place he didn't know and drove towards where he was supposed to meet his new boss.

''So kid, you excited to know where we're going?'' Jim asked.

''Yeah! I can't wait to see what you guys expect from me! Just a question huh, why did you pick me?'' Lucas said.

''Well, don't make us regret our choice but it looks like you got what it takes! You didn't seem too scared and even if we beat your sorry ass really easily, with a little practice and some good techniques, you'll be pretty good!'' answered Larry.

Lucas nodded and looked out the window. Jim took this as an occasion to study the kid from head to toes. The teenager he saw was scrawny and looked tired. He thought it was probably just a bad time for him. He could feel that something had been wrong lately with this kid for him to look so depressed and it even seemed like he had lost the will to live.

''Hey Larry, I'm kinda starving… could we grab something?'', he asked while motioning to Lucas.

''Sure. Kid you hungry?''

''Hell yeah'' Lucas spat.

''Alright. We'll grab some Big Macs on the way. What's your name anyway?''

''Call me Luke''

''Fine, Luke'' Jim said.

''I'm Larry, he's Jimmy'' Larry added.

''And Bill…'' Jim said in a shaky voice.

''Wait, who's Bill?''

''Your new boss!'' exclaimed Larry.

''Cool…''

Jim slid an album in the disk player and turned the volume up.

''What do you have for us today?'' Larry asked.

''Road mix…'' Jim said.

Lucas felt is throat constrict and his stomach churned.

_They all went outside Lucas' house and started packing the car before they left for Texas. Haley had her hands full with food bags as the others placed their bags or walked around the others and the car._

''_Okay, Karen and I made some sandwiches and I got chips and drinks. We're all set!'' Haley exclaimed, putting her bags in the trunk._

''_I brought red vines, you can't have a road trip without red vines'' Skillz said._

_Lucas walked in front of him with books. ''And I brought some old yearbooks, it might give us a laugh. What'd you bring Nate?''_

_Nathan shrugged. ''Uh, I brought Haley who brought the food. Brooke?''_

_Brooke grinned naughtily ''Well, I brought my hot body and Rachel's Danali. She might have left but at least we got her car!'' she exclaimed. Haley rolled her eyes._

''_You sure it's not stolen? Oh, wait, that's only calculus exam'' she spat._

''_My girl's not a big Rachel fan…'' Nathan pointed, wrapping his wife's shoulders. ''Peyton what did you bring'' he added._

''_Road mix!'' the blonde girl exclaimed waving the CD she had in her hand._

He remembered how long it took her to make a CD they all enjoyed while they drove to Texas to get Mouth. The accident was only a month ago and already, Lucas felt like it was years ago since his girl had been smiling and laughing. It feels to him like it's been so long since Peyton was alive. Larry and Jim were chuckling in the front when another song started. It was nothing like Peyton's road mix. Hers contained songs full of life and perfect for long drives when you need to stay happy all the way.

This one was full of angst and for a second, Lucas wondered if that's what he'd been turning to now.

''So Luke, you like_ Nine Inch Nails_?'' Larry asked.

''He probably doesn't even know 'em'' Jim replied.

''Then turn the volume up so he hears!'' Larry shouted.

As Jim did so, Lucas started rocking his head to the beat.

''Don't get tricked though…the beat is amazing but you didn't hear the lyrics just yet!'' Larry chuckled, seeing Lucas rock his head in the rear mirror. Lucas nodded and kept rocking his head.

Assoon as the first words came on,Lucas frowned deeply and Jim giggled. ''See, he told you!''

''Always wanted to know what kind of music you guys would listen to. Now I guess I know'', he chuckled.

OTH

The car stopped in front of a large, dark building. It looked more like an old garage than like anything else that would be functional. The two men walked out the car and grinned.

''Welcome home!'', one said.

They walked into the dim lit building. Lucas watched the corridors as they walked through them. They were dark and dusty. There wasn't any decoration and the gray walls almost looked like jail walls. They walked for a few minutes until they had reached a small stairway going down to the basement. A large steel door waited in front of them. Larry waited until they were all there before knocking on the door with is large fist.

Soon after, the door opened, showing an Utopian scene. The person who opened the door was a tall and thin girl. Lucas was hit by her mysterious beauty. She had long and wavy hair, dark as the night and deep, shiny electric blue eyes. Her mouth was softly drawn and her cheeks were perfectly following the classy movement of her cheekbones. Lucas thought she was perfect and when their eyes met, he felt some soft chills, mostly like butterflies in his stomach.

She pulled out of the doorway to let them in and gave Lucas a flirty nod when he came close to her.

The room was very large and stuffed with furniture. There was a pool table, a kitchen with a bar, a large living room with huge couches directed towards the biggest flat-screen TV Lucas had ever seen. The girl made them wait by the door until a deep, masculine voice called out ''Who's asking?''

''Larry and Jimmy, sir. They brought a guest…'' the girl said in a rather sensual voice. Lucas shivered at the soft words slipping from her tinny lips.

''Larry! When you called me you told me to expect a new member if I remember'' the man exclaimed as he turned his large chair to face them.

This man was not as muscular as the others but wore expensive tuxedos. He was bald and his grin didn't let Lucas anticipate anything good. He found himself thinking that the man probably shaved his skull every morning and his green and cold eyes were piercing right through him.

''Hello, young man. Are you here for the guided tour? You're past the time. Sorry, drop by later'' the man joked. He started giggling and everyone did so but not Lucas. Neither were Larry and Jim.

''Actually Bill, we found him and thought he'd be good for the job'' Larry explained.

''Really. And you did that without telling me'' Bill said.

''We thought..'' Jim started.

''Forget it, Jim'' Bill cut him off.

''What makes you think that you've got what it takes?'' Bill directed his question at Lucas.

'' 'Cause I feel so much anger... I have to find the way to make something good with it'' Lucas spat, emotionless.

Bill nodded and turned his head to the girl whom Lucas recognized to be the he'd met at the door.

''What do you think, Shelly?''

The girl walked up to Lucas and studied him.

''Well, it looks like he's working out'', she said in admiration.

''Stop flirting with the guys, they'll think you're a slut. Plus, this guy's gotta have a girlfriend, don't you? Unless of course, you killed her…''

Lucas felt his insides boiling as he clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. The coldness in his eyes caused Bill to smile evilly. He stood and walked around Lucas and Larry.

''So you killed her?'' he chuckled.

''No. Don't have any…''

''How sad is that! A cute boy like you! Poor mommy's baby! Bet you don't even have any tattoos do you?''

Lucas didn't answer. He just looked at the man with cold eyes. The man grinned and continued.

''To work for me, you'll have to hold guns. I bet my grandma would hold it better than you!'', the man giggled but those comments didn't get to Lucas. He was too determined.

''This job consists in finding bad people in town and well… have a little payback time with them, ya know. See, some people borrowed a lot of money from me but they unfortunately forgot to give it back so my men here are getting it for me'', Bill smiled with all his teeth and showed Lucas everyone who worked for him.

''When do I start?'' Lucas spat.

''Wo, wo, wait a minute superstar. Didn't say you were in, yet''

''I want to do it. I was a good kid but karma's a bitch. I'm done being good and if you don't want me to kill the motherfuckers who stole your money, then I'll have to kill you to get this anger down'', he snapped. The man smiled and started laughing.

''I like it! Did you speak like that to your girlfriend before you killed her?''

''I didn't kill her'' Lucas breathed, pressing on each word.

''Really? Oh right, you never had the balls to kill anybody. You are just a poor loser who wants to be a bad ass to impress his friends but this is real. You step here, you're not a kid anymore! This is not a game!''

''It's been a long time since I haven't been a kid anymore…'' Lucas growled.

''So you stopped playing Barbies like a Bitch. Oh right, you're not a Bitch! That would be your mother for giving us a son like you. Bet she never even wanted you! Or your dad, maybe? Right, it's your daddy. He realized you were a fuckin' bastard child and left you and the other slut he slept with!'' Bill teased cruelly.

''Do not call my mother a slut!'' Lucas said underneath his breath. He was ready to rip somebody's head off.

''Do-not-call-my-mommy-a-slut'', Bill cried, mimicking Lucas' words. ''Is your mommy the slut or is it your dead girlfriend?''

Lucas clenched his fist as hard as rocks and smacked one right to the man's jaw. He threw himself over him and started beating him. Lucas saw red as he hit the man until someone grabbed him and pulled him back off the bald man who was rubbing his discolored cheek. Jimmy held Lucas while Bill stood back on his feet. The only thing he did was smile as Lucas shouted at him.

''You fuckin' asshole! You ever call my mother a slut again and be sure you'll have your little payback time with me!'' he shouted, trying to fight off Jimmy's hold on him and almost succeeding to break free.

Bill kept smiling naughtily as he walked towards Lucas with cold eyes. Lucas stopped kicking to pull away and relaxed, Jim still holding his arms back. For a second, he thought the man would pull out a gun and kill him but the thing that came in front of him was unexpected. Bill offered him his hand.

''Welcome to the family!'' he said shaking Lucas' hand.

In the corner, Shelly sent him another naughty nod and Lucas smiled at her.

''Donovan, go get him his gun, now'' the man shouted.

The large basement was soon converted in a party room. The bar offered beers and liquor for those who needed a stronger cure. There was a team playing pool and the couches were greeting all the girls there with the boys they were flirting with. None of the five girls there were unattractive. They were all as pretty as the girls on television. Lucas eyed all five girls. There were two blondes, one with curly hair and brown eyes and the other one with straight long hair and blue eyes. There was also the redheaded girl with deep blue eyes, the pretty brunette and Shelly, the girl who caught Lucas' attention earlier. She was alone, in the corner of the room, smoking. Lucas searched for a place to get rid of his beer and go see her.

The only place he saw was directly next to his boss who was already a little boozy. He walked next to him and as he expected, Bill took his shoulders and started talking to him.

''So Luke, welcome to the family! You'll see, the job is really nice and if you work well, you'll get all the money you ever wished for. Also, be welcomed here anytime. My door is always open and as long as you are here, you have access to my bar and my, let's say, collection… I've got cocaine, marijuana, heroin and…well, the good stuff. If you want I'll introduce you to my dealer, nice guy! And well, got cigarettes too and cigars and well, all sorts of tobacco. You can take in my stuff anytime you come here. Remember that life is hard sometimes but it's not that bad! You'll be okay. As for your girlfriend, she'll be fine!''

Lucas nodded and offered his boss the slightest smile. ''Thanks…'' he whispered.

''Oh, if you punch people like you punched me, it's me that'll have to thank you!'' he chuckled. Lucas shook his hand and turned back.

''One last thing'', he heard. ''Take this! Everytime you see it ringing, it's me so get your ass over here and ready to work''. He handed him a phone and slapped his upper arm joyfully. ''Now you can go see my daughter'' Bill announced.

''What?''

''Shelly. By the way you two have been looking at each other, well… Whatever, go see her!''

Lucas nodded and walked towards Shelly. His heartbeat raced as he was getting closer to her. She didn't see him coming.

''Hi'' he said. She jumped a little and turned to face him.

''Oh, hi!''

''I'm Lucas'', he offered her his hand.

''Shelly…'', she shook it and smiled.

''Can I have a cigarette?''

''Sure..'', she got her pack out and gave one to him. She took her own cigarette and helped Lucas light his. Their eyes met and Lucas' were filled with sparkles.

''Thanks..'', he took a drag from the cigarette and lazily let the smoke escape his mouth.

''What you did was courageous'' she said, arching her eyebrows.

''He didn't have to talk to me like that!''

''I know, but this is just a test. He does that all the time. It's to see if you've got balls, ya know'' she explained. Then, she sighed and looked at him with desire in her eyes.

''Wanna take a little walk with me?'' she asked with a nod.

Lucas didn't have to answer. He just slid his hand in hers and they left the basement. The street was dark as they walked and suddenly, Shelly playfully elbowed Lucas on the arm. She took him in what seemed like a shortcut and a few minutes later they were in the brightly lit streets of North Carolina.

''Where do you come from?'' Shelly asked.

''Tree Hill'' Lucas moaned. ''Where are we?''

''Wilmington. That's right next to Tree Hill'', she answered.

OTH

Haley sat on the large couch of the Scott mansion. Nathan and herself were now living there with Deb. She was sobbing in Nathan's arms. This had pretty much been going on through the whole day. Ever since Lucas left and never came back, Haley couldn't stop crying.

''Hales. Stop crying. Lucas is fine!'' Nathan tried.

''What if he isn't?! What if he jumped on the highway or what if I-don't-know-what happened. He left! He just walked away! I don't want it to happen again Nathan''

''What are you talking about?''

''I'm talking about two weeks ago…I don't want it to happen again!''

''It won't. I promise you that''. She stopped sobbing a little.

''He loved her you know. And now he's in pain. He just needs some time! Remember the day she was brought in the Hospital…''

_**Flashback**_

_Haley and Nathan rushed to the Hospital as soon as Karen had called them. They walked through the emergency doors and stared at the ER waiting room. Haley hated Hospitals because of what you see when you wait there. Luckily, they saw Karen and walked by her side._

''_Karen, what happened?'' Haley inquired._

''_It's Peyton! She was hit by a car and they don't know if she's going to make it''_

_''What, why?'' Nathan shouted._

''_Because she was medically dead when they brought her here'', she sighed._

''_What about Lucas?'' Haley asked __worried__._

''_He was there when she got hit. He's the one who called the ambulance and made the whole ride with her. That's when she crashed, too '', Karen felt the tears burning in her eyes._

''_My god! How is he?''_

''_Room 219'' she said, emotionless._

''_What?'' Nathan said._

''_Go there, you'll see''_

_Nathan and Haley sent each other a questioning look and they nodded to Karen and walked to the room 219. Haley stepped inside first. There was Lucas, sitting on the bed in a Hospital gown and he talked with the doctor. _

''_You're really lucky you were in an ambulance. This could've been really bad. Seem to me here like you just passed out which is pretty normal considering what you've seen and your heart condition. You're gonna be okay though. I'll keep you for tonight for observation just to be on the safe side but presuming everything's fine then I'm sure you could be discharged tomorrow''_

''_Thanks, doc'' Lucas said, readjusting himself in the bed._

''_Now get some sleep, kid''_

_The doctor walked out and nodded to Haley when he passed next to her. She smiled back and Nathan searched for her hand before they got inside the room where Lucas laid, his eyes closed._

''_Hey Luke'' Haley whispered. _

_He slowly opened his eyes and saw Haley in front of him._

''_Hey'', he replied, his voice dull and emotionless._

''_You okay?''_

''_How's she?'' Lucas snapped._

_That was really Lucas! Taking care of the others before he even thought about himself. _

''_We don't know Luke. I'm sorry''_

''_She broke up with me…''_

''_What?''_

''_Before the accident, she broke up with me and walked in the street. I could've stopped it. I didn't move and now she's gone''_

''_Lucas, don't beat yourself up! It's not your fault! Peyton'll be okay''_

''_No she won't. She died right in front of me Hales. She left me and she hates me. What is this life worth anyway?''_

_Haley felt the tears go down her face. Lucas' words hit her like a blow to the guts. She didn't expect him to be like that. He had lost it. Faith, happiness, life… everything Lucas was, was gone with the wind. Gone with Peyton._

''_Lucas. It's going to be okay. Just… don't do anything stupid alright'', Nathan spoke for the first time seeing Haley break down in tears._

''_Whatever…''_

_''Lucas?''_

''_Don't bother. I'm not worth it anyway'' he spat_

_Karen came barging into the room before anyone could tell anything else. ''Peyton's alive! She's alive!''_

_Lucas sighed with relief. He made an empty, dull smile and closed his eyes. Haley watched him fall asleep with relief written all across his face. She smiled and gave a small peck on his cheek. ''Good night'' she whispered._

_**End Flashback**_

''He was so devastated!'' Haley shrieked.

''Yeah and he hasn't really changed in the past month. He hasn't been himself since the accident…'' Nathan sighed.

''Can you understand him?! Peyton has been in the Hospital for a month now. He really has the right to be down! It's just that I miss my old Lucas! My best friend! The most adorable guy and always happy kid with sparkles in his eyes! I miss him Nate! I want him back!'' she cried in his arms.

''He'll be back. When Peyton gets better, I'm sure old Lucas will come back to us'', Nathan whispered to calm her.

''Where is he?'', she cried.

''Probably having sex with a hooker'', he proposed.

''Nathan!'', Haley yelled.

''Sorry, bad joke''

''Yeah''

OTH

''Where did you put the gun?'' the girl breathed.

''Find it!'', he groaned.

Lucas pressed his back against the wall of her apartment while she kissed his neck. His fingers were digging at her back as she unbuttoned his vest. Lucas slid his finger under her chin and lifted her face so he could kiss her lips. Their tongues collided together in harmony. She almost ripped his vest and quickly removed his t-shirt, revealing his torso. She kissed down his body till she reached his bellybutton and licked it. They walked towards her bed and she pushed him down. He fell flat on his back and watched her remove her shirt, leaving her in her bra and her little skirt.

''Come here'', he groaned. She removed her skirt and leaned over him, kissing down the length of his torso. She undid his belt and tore his jeans off. He grinned naughtily. They ripped the blankets off the bed, positioning so Shelly's body is on top of Lucas'. He slid his arm around her and undid her bra, letting her breasts brush against his body. She removed his boxers, he removed her panties and he rolled on top of her. Kissing her cheek, then neck, going down her chest and breasts, he kissed her belly and went back up to kiss her soft lips. She laughed and opened her legs for him to get into her. She rolled back on top of him and kissed him while he was exploring into her. Both sighed in excitation and passion.

''Fuck me!'' she yelled as Lucas kissed her.

OTH

Karen laid her daughter Lily in her bed and softly sang to her. She watched her sleep and it reminded her of the times she would do that with Lucas. He was so little and so lovable. Tears welled up in her eyes and she patted Lily's small head.

''I'm so glad you're home, Lily Scott'' she whispered. Two arms wrapped around her chest and a warm kiss was placed on the top of her head.

''Hey, Karen'' Dan said.

''Hi, Dan'' she replied.

''Remembering Lucas at this age?''

''Yeah! Life was so easy back then! I'm worrying about him. He spends all his time with Peyton and he barely eats! And he's just so sad and so pale since he doesn't go outside and… you didn't hear the news I guess but he walked out today! He left everyone there and ran away. I don't even know where he is! He should've called me! I must be a horrible mother, I don't even know where my son his!'' Karen cried.

''Karen, he'll be okay. Plus, he will need to come home if he wants some clothes and some stuff. We'll find him! Don't worry Karen. I won't let anything happen to our son'' Dan assured.

''Thank you'' she breathed.

OTH

Lucas woke up in a bed he didn't know. He was alone, naked and the table clock announced noon.

''Fuck…'', he moaned.

''Yeah, we did!'', he heard and Shelly walked to the bed, wearing his shirt and handing him a bag.

''What's that?'', Lucas asked pointing the bag.

''Breakfast'', she smiled.

''Alright. What do we have?''

''Simple stuff, really! Bagels, bread and chocolate. Do you want some coffee? I made some before I left'' she proposed.

''Sure!'' he agreed.

He sat up on the bed, covering half of his body with the sheets. He watched Shelly's apartment. It was average size. There was one bedroom with French doors so he could see outside. The bathroom was next to the bedroom and the rest made the kitchen and the living room at the same time. Lucas wrapped the sheets around his waist and walked into the living room. The red couch would do it perfectly, he thought as he sat there.

''Here'' she threw him his boxers. ''Thought you might want those back''

''Thanks'', he said unwrapping the sheet and putting his boxers back on. Shelly looked at his ass from afar. She now understood why she wanted him so badly during the previous night.

She came back with two coffee mugs and her brown paper bag. Lucas picked a bagel and took a sip of coffee.

''Last night was amazing!'', she said.

''Hell yeah! Never had better sex than last night! It was pretty awesome'' Lucas added.

''I agree on that! You're the best I ever had…'' she smiled and then her smile dropped. ''Lucas?'', he turned his head to face her. ''I'm kinda scared… I slept with so many guys! All older than me and I know it gives me a lot of money but I'm not sure it's what I want to do for the rest of my life!''

''Then don't. Stop!''

''My dad wouldn't like that…''

''Is your dad the master of your fate?''

''I guess not'' she said.

''Then who is?" he asked.

''Uh…me?''

''Then stop. Get into a serious relationship and just stop!''

''You're right! I don't want to be a slut! Fuck, I'm only seventeen!''

''Don't be a slut if you don't want to''

''Thanks Luke! So how old are you, anyways?''

''I'm eighteen''

''Good, so you're the youngest guy I've slept with! Do you want to go out with me? I mean, I know we already fucked but a serious relationship would be nice. We could get to know each other''

''Sure…huh, we could grab some dinner. I'll call you'' he replied.

OTH

Karen fell asleep on the couch, waiting for her son to come back but he didn't. Dan had watched her sleep all night just to make sure she was okay and that someone would be awake if Lucas finally got home. By this time, he had already left for the kitchen and prepared some coffee. Two mugs in hand, he returned to the living room where he saw Karen stirring.

'' 'Morning, honey''

''Hum…good morning. You made some coffee?! Oh thank you! I must've fallen asleep. What if Luke came while I was sleeping?!''

''He didn't. Stayed up all night waiting for him. He never showed though. Sorry…'' Dan explained with a hint of deception in his voice.

''Thanks for staying up! I just… I don't want it to happen again you know'' Karen started.

''Yeah, don't worry. It's not going to happen again. I know last few weeks have been hard on you with Peyton in the Hospital, Lucas doing stupid stuff and the baby coming but just remember that I'll always have your back and help you through this''

''Thank you, Dan. You know, I never thought you'd change! I never thought I'd see the old Dan back, the one I fell in love with in the first place. I'm glad to see that I was wrong about you''

Dan nodded and offered her a shiny smile. She smiled back and drank her coffee in silence.

OTH

Lucas walked into his bedroom and collapsed onto his bed. This past month had been exhausting. He looked around his room and didn't even remember he had left it this way. It had been such a long time ago since he'd been there. He watched the picture frame that lay next to his bed. He stood, taking it and patting the picture. It was one of him and Peyton. His hands started shaking and his stomach growled. Exhaustion was getting to him and a wave of dizziness washed over him, making him drop the frame. When it fell to the floor, the glass shattered, making a loud noise.

Instead of picking it up, Lucas stayed there, holding his forehead until the dizziness passed. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. When he opened them, his mother stood in front of him. He'd never seen her look so mad before.

''WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?'' she cried.

TBC

_That's it for now guys. Don't forget to drop a review and I'll be pleasured to update faster this time. Hope you guys liked it._

Next: What will happen with Lucas and Karen, Lucas gets his first assignment and more flashbacks coming up so stay tuned.


	4. last minute mission

**Hey guys, sorry about the wait. Also sorry if there was any dislike in the last chapter… I can tell you though, if it reassures you, yes you WILL hear of Peyton again. A lot! She's still in Lucas' heart after all!**

**OTH**

"Where the hell were you?" Karen shouted from the doorway.

"Out…" Lucas groaned and looked at her frustrated face.

"Why didn't you call me? You left the Hospital and spent the night out!"

"Mom, I'm not a baby anymore! You don't have to act like I'm five!"

"Then prove me you're not! Lucas, with what happened…"

"Ah! Come on mom, get over it and let me live my life!" Lucas cut her off. Karen shivered. She studied her son for a second.

He looked tired and sad. It hurt her to see him like that. Since what happened to Peyton, she had lost the Lucas she knew. Her kid had become darker. He was depressed all the time and he didn't want to see anyone. He had also done some stupid stuff, like everyone else would have done considering the life he had and what he had to go through.

He stared at her eyes before sighing and picking a bag up from the floor.

"Wait, what are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm moving out!" he spat.

"Lucas, you're not leaving!" she ordered.

"Who's gonna stop me? You? I've got my diploma, school's over, I'm leaving!" he added.

"Lucas!" she threatened.

"It's over mom…I'm out!" he snapped before slamming the door, taking his bags with him. Karen sighed and felt horrible for what her son had to go through.

OTH

Lucas didn't really know where he was going. He was just leaving his past behind. He would start a new life without the heavy weight of his past mistakes. He drove his old mustang and left Tree Hill. Would it be for good, he didn't know. Maybe he would come back some day to see Haley and Nathan. He was coming into Wilmington when something vibrated in his pocket.

"It's early", he thought.

The phone Bill had given him was vibrating. The fact that he was already in Wilmington was helping him because he was much closer. His direction changed to the basement he had visited the last night.

He was in front of the building in less than fifteen minutes and entered the basement like a whirlwind.

"Called me?", he asked as he saw Bill, Jimmy and Larry standing in some triangle. They were discussing before Lucas barged in.

"Yup, glad you're here. Listen, I know you've only been in since yesterday but I got something I really need to be done" Bill explained.

"Ok, what is it?"

"This morning I gave some money to Donovan and I asked him to go get something for me. On the way, he got beaten and the guy stole the money"

Lucas patted his knuckles and looked back at Bill.

"What do we do, Boss?"

Bill smiled. He gave a file to Lucas. "This is the guy who attacked Donovan this morning. You've got everything here! His name, his address… I don't like it when people mess with my money!" Bill explained.

"I'll take care of that" Lucas spat.

"Well, you can't do it alone. You'll have Jimmy and Larry with you and I just want my money back. But of course, if the man doesn't give it back, you do have a gun"

Lucas nodded and checked through the files in his hands. He nodded to Jim and Larry and they both nodded back. Bill threw the keys to Lucas.

"You drive kid"

"Sure. Thanks"

"Oh, and Luke if you need anything…" he started.

"I'm cool!" Lucas replied quickly.

Bill smiled and then Lucas left with is two new partners.

OTH

Brooke woke up in the chair next to Peyton's bed. She realized she had fallen asleep after spending the whole night up with Peyton. Lucas had left and she didn't want her best friend to be alone. Nathan and Haley had taken off for the night and promised to come back in the morning.

Brooke felt bad for Lucas because it was her fault if Peyton and Lucas had an argument. Peyton had forgiven her though. She just knew it.

_**Flashback**_

_As soon as Lucas had been discharged, he could be found in Peyton's room. Sitting next to her, holding her hand, sleeping next to her, he was always there. Haley and Nathan had also been at her sides. It was more for Lucas but they were there. The second day, while the three talked, Brooke entered shyly in the room. Head down and hands in pockets, she made her way up. _

"_She ok?" she asked quietly._

"_What are you doing here, Brooke?"_

"_I'm visiting my best friend!"_

"_After hurting her…" Lucas snapped coldly. "She saw you kissing me!" he added._

_Brooke felt even more guilty. "I… I'm… I'm sorry Luke" she stuttered._

"…_And she broke up with me" he added on a low, cold tone._

"_But it didn't mean anything!" she cried._

"_Tell this to her" Lucas spat and then almost ran to the door. "I'll go get some coffee"_

_Then he left. Brooke stood there with Nathan and Haley staring. This was really awkward. Brooke was looking down at her feet then everywhere else than the bed. Haley took Nathan by the arm and led him outside._

"_We'll give you two some time alone" they proposed._

_Brooke sat down in the chair next to Peyton. She took her friend's hand in hers and patted it softly._

"_Hey buddy! Listen, I know you probably hate me now and I can understand but don't be mad at Luke. He didn't do anything. It's all my fault. I was just kidding with some friends, ok. It didn't mean anything. Lucas and I are over. He's all yours now, I promise. I won't let you down again P. Sawyer. Hoes over Bros, huh!" She whispered softly. A tear fell from her eyes and at that very moment, she could swear she saw the corner of Peyton's lips turn into a weak smile before her face came back motionless. _

She watched her best friend lay there just the way it had been for the past month.

"Please best friend, wake up! We need you here" Brooke cried, her voice cracking.

Karen was lying on the couch, her tear stained face looking down. Dan had tried comforting her to no avail. She was lying there, crying and sobbing since Lucas came by. Totally devastated by his desire to leave her, she kept crying and repeating over and over again that she wasn't a good mother and that Lucas deserved better.

Even when the doorbell rang, she didn't even look up. The door stayed closed and Karen stayed on the couch. Dan rolled his eyes and opened the door.

"Hi, Haley!" Dan greeted her.

"Huh, hey Mr. Scott. Look, is Karen here?"

"She's huh…on the couch"

Haley frowned. Dan moved from the doorway and led her in. Haley saw Karen, on the couch, crying like a baby and sobbing, repeating frantically that she wasn't a good mother.

"Karen?"

The older woman looked up to see her son's best friend, Haley. She looked tired and sad as Lucas was before he left.

"Uh, Haley, hi" she sniffled and placed herself on the couch for Haley to have a place next to her. The young girl took a seat and watched Karen cry.

"Have you seen Lucas?", she asked the question that was burning her lips.

"This morning yeah… when he packed his stuff and moved out"

"He WHAT?!" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes Hales, he left. He's gone! I'm such a terrible mother!" Karen shrieked again.

"Karen, don't say that. You know Lucas is a little depressed lately, but he'll come around"

"No, he won't! He's gone! My baby's gone"

They heard some cries coming from Karen's bedroom. She didn't seem to care at all. She didn't seem to notice at all. Dan rolled his eyes.

"I'll go take care of Lily" he said.

Haley hugged Karen when she didn't stop sobbing. She rocked her back and fourth and patted her back and her hair.

OTH

Lucas parked the car in front of a house he recognized with the files Bill had given him. Larry, who sat next to him, peeked outside the car window. He saw the man on the files as well. He was coming back home. The man looked everywhere around him then pulled his keys out and unlocked the door.

Larry turned to Lucas and nodded. "Ok, so the guy just came home". Jim and Lucas nodded.

"Listen Luke, I now it's your first time, that's why we need to tell you a little about it. You don't touch anything in the house. You follow us in and the only thing you care about is the guy. He's divorced, no kids so you don't need to worry about anyone else being there. Get it?"

"Sure", Lucas nodded.

"So," he continued, "We go in. we don't want to be suspected so we are polite and ring at the door. When we're in, you are in charge of the blinds or curtains while Jim and I circle the guy. We're going to ask him for the money first and if he doesn't give it back then we might be forced to push it a little. Ok, so if I say you get out, you get the hell out even if one of us is hurt, alright? If I get shot or if Jim does, just get out, ok?! Don't risk your life for us…"

Lucas nodded again to show that he was following.

"Ready?" Larry asked.

"Yep!"

Larry grinned and placed the stuff he needed in his pockets. The two others did the same thing and walked out of the car. They walked along the driveway and climbed the few steps there. On the porch, Larry walked first and rang the doorbell. Barely a minute after, a man opened the door. He appeared to be in his mid-forties with gray blossoming through his black hair.

"How can I help you, guys?" the man grinned.

"We're from the fire department and we were told there might be a leak in your gas tank. Do you mind if we take a look?" Larry lied.

"Uh, well I don't smell anything like gas but yeah, sure. Come on in!". The man opened the door and let the three guys in before he closed the door.

Jim stayed behind and blocked the door as Larry stood in front of the guy, blocking his way. Lucas did as told so, he closed the blinds so they wouldn't be seen.

"What the.." the man started.

"You stole money this afternoon, didn't you?" Larry asked.

"I…" the man stuttered.

"You beat my friend Donovan and stole my boss' money" Larry accused.

"I don't know what you're…" the man was shaking now.

"Don't laugh in my face. We all know what you did" Larry spat.

The man raised his hands in surrender and nodded.

"Ok, well you're right I did it. I'm sorry, ok. Look, I'll give it back to you guys just don't do anything, alright?! I'll go get it. It's in a mallet in my room. I'll be back, just give me a sec" the man apologized and walked away from them and towards his bedroom.

Lucas sighed. "Well, it was pretty easy" he whispered before a loud bang was heard. The guy appeared with a gun and started shooting. Quickly, Jim got his gun out and fired towards the guy. Lucas did the same. It was the first time he was using a gun but God it felt good. He felt adrenaline pump into his veins.

"You thought I would give it back to ya, motherfuckers?!" the man shouted. And had brought a small, plastic tank of gas and threw it in the living room before shooting it. The tank exploded, and the fire quickly ate everything. The carpet, the couch, everything was starting to burn. The last thing Lucas saw was the man's happy face before he took the door out.

Lucas started choking and looked next to him where Jim was picking himself up. "Get out of here!" Jim shouted at Lucas but the kid didn't move. He hadn't seen Larry since the beginning of the shooting. He looked around and found him lying on the floor with his eyes shut.

Soon, the sirens were shouting in the air. Lucas could barely think. Jim was already out and he had to get out soon either before he burned alive. He spotted Larry once again and even with the fire burning in front of him, he jumped and grabbed Larry. Putting him over his shoulders, he fought the flames and finally got out of the house. The Savana was waiting in front of the house, Jim ready to leave as he sat behind the wheel.

"Hurry!" he shouted.

Lucas ran faster and opened the doors of the GMC before he threw Larry and himself in. Jim pressed on the accelerator as hard as he could and they were gone quickly, even before the police got to the house.

Lucas checked Larry for a pulse and realized the man was bleeding from his chest.

"He's been shot!" Lucas shouted.

"We'll get him to the Hospital" Jim said as he turned the car and raced over to the Hospital.

Lucas realized he had burned himself while he picked up Larry. He had a few burns on his arms and it was hurting like hell.

"You ok?" Jim asked.

"Uh, yeah…"

They got to the Hospital and Lucas almost jumped out of the moving car. He ran to the emergency doors and yelled for a doctor.

"I need help please, my friend has been shot!" he yelled, helping the doctors to the car where Larry was lying in a pool of his own blood. They pushed Lucas and Jim aside while they rushed Larry in. A medic saw the blood and the burns on Lucas and grabbed his shoulders.

"Kid, are you okay?" he asked.

"'m fine. I'll go wait inside" Lucas said as he pulled himself away.

"Well, your friend might be in surgery for a while"

"I know" he moaned as he and Jimmy walked inside the Hospital and waited in the OR waiting room.

They waited for what seemed like hours to Lucas before a tall woman in white lab coat came to them with a smile.

"He'll be fine! He's awake now but just let him rest" she smiled and walked to her rounds.

Jim and Lucas got to the room where Larry was and took the seats next to the bed. Larry's eyes were closed but as soon as he heard the noise, he groggily opened his eyes.

"Hey! How you feeling?" Lucas asked.

"Drowsy… They told me you saved my life" Larry said then he saw the burns on Lucas' hands. "Why did you?"

"I couldn't let you get toast in that fire" Lucas grinned. It was the first time he really grinned since Peyton's accident. A real, genuine smile.

"Thanks"

"It's cool man. Get yourself better!". All three of them pounded fists.

"Wasn't bad for a first time!" Jim said.

"When we two first worked together, Jim punched me by accident!" Larry chuckled making Lucas laugh.

"I felt so guilty that I broke his nose!" Jim laughed.

"And for your first time, you saved my life… I owe you, Lucas!", Larry said now turning serious.

"No you don't. I'm the one who should owe you for getting me into this. I've never had friends like you two before! I really enjoy being a part of the crew!"

"We enjoy having you too!" Larry said.

They laughed for the rest of the night, remembering some great times they had in their lives. When Lucas saw Larry's eyes start to droop, he stood and told him they would come back later when he would have gotten some rest. Larry nodded and quickly fell asleep.

"Should we go take a coffee before we leave?" Jim asked.

"Sure, I'd really enjoy a coffee!" Lucas said.

They were into the cafeteria when someone ran into Lucas. He looked in front of him at the person and his eyes grew wide.

"Lucas?"

"Haley?"

Haley was startled to see Lucas there with someone she had never seen before. Jim frowned at this unexpected twist.

"What are you doing here with… Hi!", she shook Jim's hand.

"Well, we're here for L…" Jim started.

"How's Peyton?" Lucas cut him off.

"Well, there's no change but something tells me you're not here for that"

"Not really… Look, we were gonna get some coffee and leave. See you around!" he waved her off.

"Luke, wait…" she begged.

"I don't have time for this, Hales"

"Your mom's blaming herself! You can't leave your house like that!" she cried.

"Bye, Haley" Lucas snapped coldly as he and Jim went to the coffee machine and then left the hospital.

They got back into the Savana and drove off.

"Who was that?" Jim asked.

"Someone I used to know…"

"What about the part with your mom" Jim asked, concern leaking from his voice.

"Look," Lucas started.

"You're still living with her, aren't you? So what you're just out of High School, or something" Jim asked.

"Yeah…" Luke sighed.

"Well, then you're a better man at your age than I am at 24…" he chuckled. Lucas laughed softly with him.

"Need a place to crash?" Jim asked.

"Kinda…" Lucas admitted.

"Well, come to my place! I can take you until you find your own place" he proposed.

"Thanks"

The two drove back to the basement where Bill impatiently waited for them to come back.

"It's been a long night!" he exclaimed.

"Larry got shot, Sir" Jim announced.

"Is he ok?"

"Yup, the kid saved him!" Jimmy nodded to Lucas.

"Well, that was a great thing to do! I knew you'd be good but next time someone tells you to save your life first, do it…" Bill admonished.

"I can't do that! I mean let a friend die, I can't do that!" Lucas confessed.

Bill just smiled and waved at them, motioning to the door. Lucas and Jim left and Lucas went to his car. When Jimmy saw the mustang, his mouth fell wide opened.

"Gee, a mustang?!"

"Wanna drive?" Lucas asked with a large smile.

"Hell, yeah!"

Lucas threw Jim the keys and they drove off to his house. It was a really beautiful house with a nice garden. Jim explained that he had made this garden when he was with his girlfriend but she died in a car accident. Since that, Jim continued to take good care of the garden.

"Sorry 'bout your girlfriend…" Lucas had a lump in his throat while he unpacked the trunk. It didn't take too long since he only had one bag.

"Peyton's your girlfriend?"

"Kinda"

"How can someone be 'kinda' your girlfriend?"

"We had a huge argument then she got hit by a car…" Lucas explained.

"It hurts, huh…"

"Yeah" Lucas' voice was cracking.

"Now I understand what you were doing in that bar" Jim admitted.

Lucas chuckled as Jim introduced him to his new temporary house. It was a really nice place. The decoration was made with a lot of taste.

"You can take the guest room"

"Thanks for letting me stay here"

They hugged and Lucas walked to his new room. There was one king sized bed, a large window and a dresser. There was also a closet where he could put all of the stuff you don't put in a drawer like pants, shoes and bags. He started unpacking and installing himself. It really felt like home because he had never felt better than when he was hanging out with Jimmy and Larry. If he had to, he would save Larry's life again.

He pulled out some jeans he hung in the closet, some t-shirts and hoodies he put in the drawers with his boxers and socks. Jim entered the room as Lucas was taking his pill bottles out.

"That's pretty much for such a young boy!" he said from the door. Lucas let out a moan and placed the four bottles on his desk. There were two bottles for his heart condition, one bottle of _Valium_ to sleep and one of _Ativan_.

"Use to have those too" Jim said pointing the anti-anxiety pills.

"Ativan? Yeah they gave me that after… you know, the accident…"

"Your girlfriend?"

"Yeah…"

"Wanna talk?"

"What are you, my shrink?" Lucas teased.

"No, someone who's been there too.." Jim said seriously and Lucas' smile died down some.

They both sat on the bed.

"I started isolating myself. I spent my days and nights in the Hospital at her sides, not sleeping, not eating… and I didn't want to leave the Hospital. My dad forced me to go see a shrink and I got all sorts of pills to help me go through it…" Lucas started to explain.

"Feeling any better?" Jim asked.

"Not really…"

"Then shrinks suck!"

Both laughed until Jim broke it and stood. He just said that he knew exactly what Lucas would need and left. He went back a few minutes after with a small bottle. Lucas frowned.

"Man…I don't really do drugs"

"I know. That's what I said too but you'll see, it'll make you feel better"

Jim filled two syringes with heroin and handed one to Lucas.

"Need an explanation on what to do?"

Jim wrapped a tourniquet around his upper arm to make some pressure on his elbow and turned his inner arm towards him, sliding the syringe through his skin and into the vein. Lucas did the same thing and a few seconds was all it took before he really started to feel better.

"Your thing works!"

"I told you"

TBC

**I guess that'll be all for this time. Just tell me what you thought. Liked it? Hated it? Go on I can take it. **

**A few spoilers for the next upcoming chapters:**

**Haley might find something about what Lucas is doing…**

**A baby is coming…**

**There might be some money problems…**

**More and more flashbacks…**


	5. what happened Lucas?

**Thanks to those of you who leave nice reviews! Here's the update. Hope you enjoy!**

**OTH**

Lucas woke up after a restless sleep. He was in his new bedroom inside Jim's house. The last things he remembered were a blur. He remembered them talking about Peyton, then his experience with the shrinks but after that was kind of a blur. Jim walked inside his bedroom with two mugs of coffee.

"Hey, sleepy head! Slept late!" Jim chuckled.

"What happened last night?" Lucas asked.

"Uh, you went a little hard on the needle" Jim said, handing Lucas a mug.

Luke shook his head to wipe the migraine that was starting to settle and he grabbed the mug, taking a sip of the warm liquid. It felt like there was an elephant jumping on his head. His memories were blurry but he felt better than he had felt since the accident.

"Thinking about her?" Jim asked suddenly.

"Yeah, all the time. I just wish it could've been me instead of her", Lucas sighed and gulped his coffee. Jim looked around the room then back at Lucas.

"You need to take any medication now?"

"I should taker my Beta Blockers…"

"So?"

"I'm not going to"

"Wanna kill yourself?"

"No. I just don't see what's the point anymore" Lucas said sadly. God the kid was really depressed. Jim offered him a sad smile and put a hand on Lucas' shoulder.

"Come on. Take a shower and let's get out of here!" he proposed. Lucas smiled and headed for the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later, they were heading out the house to a commercial street in Wilmington where they planned to walk and go see the little shops to buy something for Larry to keep him smiling while he was in the Hospital. The doctors said he could be out in a couple of days if everything turned out okay. He was recovering really fast.

They walked down the street and met an independent record store. Lucas nodded to it and Jim smiled.

"I always loved music" he announced.

"Yeah me too. Before the past events, I was always listening to music with Peyton and we were sharing some stuff. I guess I stopped because it hurt too much if I would listen to a song that she liked or one that made me think of her" admitted Lucas.

They walked inside the store and stared at the bins, full of vinyls and CDs. Peyton would've loved this place, he thought. She spent all her time in places like these. Lucas let the tips of his fingers softly slide onto the covers of the albums. Jim was already gone in his favorite section and checking the new stuff. Lucas went next to him.

"Oh! _Disintegration_! That's a great album!" Jim exclaimed.

"Yeah, I didn't know you liked The Cure. I thought you guys were more into that Slayer thing" Lucas joked.

"Nah, I like alternative rock better! Oh, I love that one!", he picked up an album.

"_Led Zeppelin_?"

"Yeah, I love Led Zeppelin! I'm a fan of _Stairway to heaven!_" admitted Jim.

"Deepest song is _All of my love…_" Lucas reflected.

"Written after a car accident took the lives of his son and wife" Jim added.

They both nodded at each other.

"I didn't know we had so much in common!" Jim continued. Lucas nodded and looked back to the albums.

"Oh, I cannot get enough of U2 either" he said.

"_The Joshua Tree _is an amazing album!" Jim said.

"Oh and there is _Dookie_!" Lucas chimed pointing the the Green Day album.

"Totally! That's my favorite of all times!" Jim exclaimed.

"_Do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once_…" Lucas started to sing. Jim joined him.

"_I am one of those melodramatic fools neurotic to the bone no doubt about it!", _now they were singing so loud that a few people were staring but they were having just too much fun to care. They left the store while chiming_ "Am I just paranoid? Or I'm just stoned_!"

In the car, Lucas had a moment of lucidity in is trans. He realized how much of an ass he'd been the past days and for a second he thought that the best thing to do right now was to go see Peyton. Not knowing why, he suddenly felt the urge to go.

"Hey man, do you mind if I go see my girlfriend?"

"Peyton?"

"I don't know why but I feel like that's what I need to do"

"Sure", Jim nodded. "I'll let you go and I'll go get some word on Larry"

Lucas nodded his thanks and then another thought came to his mind. Kind of a darker thought now…

"You got some here?"

"You're serious?"

"I'll never be able to face them if I'm sober!"

Jim shook his head then a small smile crept on his face. His dug his hand in his pocket and got a small bag out.

"Here. Go softly on that!" he warned. Lucas couldn't help but smile. His bad self was back. He opened the bag and smiled.

OTH

The room was dimly lit. Brooke and Haley were sitting around Peyton's bed and talking about some stuff. Most of their conversation revolved around Lucas. Haley had told a few people about her quick meeting with Lucas the other day. A soft knock came from the door and a shy Lucas appeared in the doorway.

He seemed pretty calm compared to what they both had seen in the past week.

"Mind if I come in?" he asked shyly.

"Depends, is your recycled trash around?" Haley snapped.

"Who?"

"The tall guy with tattoos I saw the other day!"

"Don't call him that again" Lucas mumbled under his breath.

He held his head back up and placed a dirty grin on his face. Without one more word, he walked over to the bed and started wrapping one of Peyton's curly buds around his finger. He still held that naughty grin on his face we he turn to Brooke.

"Hey, beauty!"

Haley saw how much Brooke was uncomfortable with the situation. "Luke? Are you okay?"

He took a breath and patted her cheek "I'm more than okay!"

Then he walked to the foot of the bed and leaned onto the plastic edge of it, staring at the different monitors like the doctors would do. He even seemed to believe himself in what he was doing. Haley frowned.

"You coming back home?" she asked. Lucas barely noticed her.

"Nope. Just stopping by to see if Peyton is ok"

"She's not ok! She needs you here as much as we need her back!" Brooke replied. He just smiled.

"Whatever, she made her point clear. She doesn't want anything from me anymore"

"Luke, she was mad. She didn't mean it! Come back home, please. Karen is a real mess" begged Haley. Lucas shrugged. A nervous laugh escaped his mouth and the girls could only stare and wonder what was up with him.

"I made a mistake. I shouldn't have come" he finally spoke.

Haley sighed. She stood and cupped his face in her hands. "We're glad you came. I missed you!" she smiled. Lucas gave it back to her then pulled away roughly.

"Any word on her?" he asked nervously.

"They're worried she might never wake up…" Brooke said silently.

"What?"

"They don't give her that long. In a few weeks, if she's not up, they might…"

"No. They're not gonna do that!" Lucas snapped. "Her father will never let them do that!"

Haley had a stab of sympathy for her friend and smiled sadly. "He's a total wreck, Luke…"

Lucas shook his head and his breathings increased. "No, no, no! Larry won't do that. Peyton is going to wake up and she'll be fine!", he started panicking. Haley tried controlling him but he was too strong and she was pushed back.

"It's my fault! I did nothing to save her! I could've stopped it!", his eyes were watering now but the anger was taking over again. He was rough in his moves and harsh in his words. The kid was blaming himself and they had to stop him before he did anything dangerous like he did few weeks ago.

"Lucas, Lucas, please stop!" Haley said trying to stop him.

"I killed her! It should've been me! I killed Peyton!", he rushed passed the girls and to the bed where he grabbed her hand.

"Please Peyton, forgive me! I'm so sorry!" he said. He was totally breaking down. Haley went by behind and grabbed his wrists. His sleeve went up and she saw them. The scars. They were fresh. Lucas glared at Haley's hands and he saw them too. Those instantly made him stop struggling. Haley's eyes watered, a lone tear fell from her eye and down her cheek.

"I still can't believe you did this, Luke…" she cried.

_**Three weeks ago**_

_Haley and Nathan had gone home for the night. It was their chance to get some rest. Since Lucas had gone home too, Brooke took over the charge of watching out for Peyton. _

_Haley walked in their small apartment and breathed the smell of it. Deeply. _

"_Feels good to be home! Don't you think it smells good here? It doesn't smell like ether for once… I hate Hospitals…" she complained. Nathan smiled and kissed her. _

"_You're right! It feels good to be home! So Lucas also went home?"_

"_Yeah, I convinced him to go a few hours ago" Haley replied._

_She was stopped when the phone rang. The name she saw on the ID picked at her curiosity. _Karen._ She pressed the talk button and put the phone up to her ear._

"_Hello?"_

"_Haley. It's Dan"_

"_Dan?"_

"_I just got home and uh…look, something happened with Lucas, can you meet me at the Hospital?"_

"_What? He's.. he's okay, right? How is he?" she stuttered, getting worried all of a sudden. _

"_Haley, he… he slit his wrists…" Dan replied softly, high self control obvious in his voice. _

_There was a long silence on the line. Haley started sobbing at the news. Nathan saw the change and tried to read her features but she was totally blank._

"_Haley? Are you there?" Dan finally asked. _

"_Yeah, yeah… I'm coming right away!"_

_She hung up almost instantly and turned to Nathan. Her face was soaked in tears._

"_What?" Nathan asked worried. _

"_Lucas… he tried to kill himself!" she cried and fell in his arms. They hugged._

_Haley managed to put herself back together and they got to the Hospital. Dan was the one waiting there. _

"_Hey, how is he?" she cried._

"_Sleeping. He lost a lot of blood so they're giving him blood transfusions and oxygen"_

_Haley was crying in Nathan's arms, who was trying not to cry as well. Dan nodded his head. _

"_Is Karen, ok?" Nathan asked._

"_She's taking care of Lily…"_

"_Wait, who is…"_

"_Oh my god! She gave birth?" Haley cut Nathan._

_Dan nodded with a smile. Haley didn't know now if she should be happy or sad. She decided since Lucas was sleeping that she'd go see Karen first, and then she'd go see Lucas._

_She walked into his room. He was still sleeping. The beeps of the machines were the only sounds breaking the heavy silence. Nathan was walking behind her. They both were shocked by the events. __Lucas' wrists were __bandaged and pain was written in his tired features. He was indeed given oxygen as well. _

"_Hey buddy, can you tell me what the hell happened to you?" she asked in a whisper, wiping a fallen tear._

"_She okay?", a soft and groggy voice came from the bed._

"_Who?"_

"_My sister?"_

_Haley had a small smile. "She's really gorgeous. What about you?" she asked concerned, seeing Lucas open his eyes for the first time to look at her._

"_Everything hurts… but it doesn't matter anyway, how is Peyton?" he asked, blinking sluggishly. _

_Haley sighed. Damn he was stubborn. Nathan took that one._

"_Peyton's not the main concern for the moment. What about you, man?" he spoke for the first time since entering the room. _

"_I'm fine…" Lucas moaned. _

"_No you're not! You just tried to kill yourself!" Nathan spat. _

_Haley turned over to him and glared at him with cold eyes. "Why don't you go get some coffee" she proposed. He shrugged and walked out. Haley took in a deep breath and sat next to Lucas. _

"_Why did you do that?" she asked softly._

"_Can I tell you when I'm ready?"_

_She nodded._

_**End of flashback**_

Haley stared at the scars that were slowly starting to heal.

"Why did you do it?" she asked. Lucas sighed and looked down at Peyton.

Haley's breath caught in her throat. She placed her hand on Lucas' shoulder for support and squeezed her fingers until her knuckles turned white. Lucas flinched and turned his head to see Haley's pale face. She seemed to be in a lot of pain.

"Hales? You alr…" he started to ask.

She let out a small yell.

"Haley?" he stood and grabbed her by the shoulders as she bent over.

"Haley what's wrong?" Brooke asked.

"Baby… the baby's pushing. I think my water just broke…" she replied.

Lucas stood as quickly as he'd bent and went in the corridor.

"I need some help here! My friend is going into labor!"

**TBC**

**Cliffie ending. Stay tuned if you wanna know more about Lucas' story and if you wanna see a Naley baby. Drop a nice review, that'd be sweet.**

**Thanks for reading.**


	6. found my salvation

**A N : thanks for the reviews! ****I was happy with them. Here goes the new chapter. Enjoy!**

**OTH**

A team of doctors rushed inside Peyton's Hospital room. When they saw Haley almost lying on the floor, they brought a wheelchair in and exited the room quickly wheeling her to a room where she could give birth to her baby.

Lucas forgot about all the past stuff and rushed at her sides. He ran next to her, still holding tightly onto her hand. She was grabbing his so tightly that her knuckles were turning white.

They got to a room on the other floor and installed Haley onto the bed. A nurse pulled Lucas out of the way to ask him to fill some paperwork they needed. Lucas nodded but he didn't really care about the forms. All he cared about was the fact that his nephew was going to be there soon.

Brooke was also there, standing on Haley's other side. Haley was in pain and beads of sweat were forming on her forehead. The contractions were coming faster and faster.

"Come on, Hales. You can do this!" Brooke chimed. Haley squeezed Lucas' fingers tighter.

"I can't do this without… without Nathan! SOMEBODY CALL NATE!" she yelled in anger. Her hormones were just as messed up as Lucas' life nowadays.

Brooke nodded and ran out of the room to call Nathan. He was supposed to be around so getting here shouldn't be too hard. Nathan answered after a few rings.

"Hey, Nate. It's Brooke! Yea, everything's fine! You should come, Haley's in labor! Ok, see you soon, bye", Brooke hung up with a large smile and rushed back in the room.

Haley saw her coming back with her big smile and it just pissed her. "Where is he?"

"Don't worry, Hales. Nathan is coming!"

"But I need him now!"

"Haley! Your husband is on his way. He'll be here soon so quit it!" Brooke snapped.

Haley made a grimaced and pain came back again. Lucas just kept holding her hand. Minutes later, Nathan was there with them and in the time it took, the doctors had to tell Haley to push.

"Come on, tutor girl! You can do it. Just push!" Brooke encouraged.

"I AM PUSHING!" Haley shouted. This surprised even Nathan and caused Lucas to smirk.

"Come on, tuto…"

"Don't you fucking call me that again!" Haley yelled back. Brooke made her bitchy smirk towards Haley and stayed there while Nathan was whispering soft words to sooth Haley.

"Ok ma'am, I'm going to need you to push at the count of three, alright? One…two…three!" the Doctor said.

Haley screamed like a hurting animal while she pushed her hardest.

"Hales, I see his head!" Lucas exclaimed. Haley started laughing.

"Really?" she breathed with a huge smile.

"Push again young lady, one…two…" the Doctor started again.

Haley didn't wait the three when she pushed hard. She could feel a part of her being torn away. She soon realized it was the baby. Her baby was born. The doctors took him away to wash him and wrap him in a warm blanket.

"I want to see him!" Haley begged. Brooke was in tears when they brought the little kid in Haley and Nathan's arms. Haley started making fun sounds while she rocked her crying baby. Nathan was smiling widely as well. For a second, there was no on else in the room than these two happiest parents in the world.

"Welcome to the world, James Lucas Scott" Haley announced.

Brooke smiled in her tears, "I love his name!"

Haley nodded and the happy couple played with their son for the time left. Lucas realized they didn't need him anymore. He stood from the bed.

"Wait, where are you going?" Haley asked.

"You guys are happy. I'm done here. See you guys around" he announced.

Nathan frowned. He hadn't totally noticed Lucas' presence. He only realized it then, how much is brother was pale and thinner then he had ever been.

"You can't consider leaving again, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, why? Do you even care?" Lucas snapped.

"Yes I do!" Nathan shouted.

Lucas laughed and clapped his hands. "Really touching, Nate. You almost got me!"

Nathan started to get really pissed. "Could you quit being a jerk for like ten seconds and realize you need help?!"

"I don't need your help. Anyway, I see it guys. This isn't about help, this is about pity! But I'll tell ya'll what, I don't need your pity!" he moaned.

"Lucas, don't take this the wrong way, but you're really changing right now and I'm not sure I like the person you're becoming!" Brooke said.

Lucas frowned slightly. "One more reason to leave" he said simply, a hurt look on his face.

Without one more word, he left the room. The three others were totally out of it.

"Ok, what just happened?" Nathan asked.

"I'm not letting him go, this time. See you later, guys!" Brooke said before she ran out the room.

Nathan shrugged and then drove his attention back on his new born son.

Brooke tried to run after Lucas but catching up wasn't easy. Never did he notice her but she kept following his pace. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw him walk into a room she didn't know about.

This was the trauma care floor and she didn't know anyone who would be here so what was Lucas even doing there? She hid behind a wall and watched him slowly and cautiously close the door.

Lucas closed the door behind him not to catch all the attention on himself and spun to see the bed. Larry looked better than ever and Jim was sitting right next to him.

"Gee, you were long!" Jim declared.

"My friend she… she just had her baby" Lucas replied.

"Really? Maybe you should go…" Jim started but Lucas cut him off.

"No! I just left and I'm not going back there" he snapped.

Both men nodded, not wanting to add anything more. Lucas seemed pretty pissed off. Larry seemed to notice something more, Lucas was dozing off.

"Luke, you okay?"

The same grin he held earlier came back onto his face and he didn't notice his friend calling him.

"Lucas? LUCAS?"

Lucas barely turned his head. Larry turned to Jim.

"Ok, what did you give him?" he asked.

Jim's eyes where searching something to rest his attention on. "Nothing…" he lied.

"Jimmy?"

Jim shrugged. "Just a little cocaine, he'll be fine in a few hours"

"Kid's taking drugs?"

"Well… it's kinda my fault" Jim admitted.

"Dude!" Larry frowned.

"Hey, he asked for that one" Jim justified.

Larry rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers. Lucas turned and eyed him for a second.

"How was it?" he asked the kid.

"What was?"

"Life…your friends?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. My friends, this is you two" Lucas admitted.

The men smiled. "Alright, now get your ass home and get some sleep. Honestly Luke, you look awful!" Larry proposed truthfully.

"Gee, thanks!"

Larry put a palm up "No problem, Dude"

Luke smiled and Jim led him out of the room. Brooke spotted the door when it opened and her eyes followed Lucas and a man out. That was her only chance so she figured she'd take it.

She turned on her heels and faked being there on pure coincidence. She watched the frames on the walls to avoid eye contact with Lucas and his friend. She waited for him to notice her but he never did. When she turned, she ran directly into him.

"Woah, sorr… Brooke?" Lucas started.

Brooke smiled widely. "Hey, Luke! I didn't see you!" she lied.

"Right" Lucas rolled his eyes.

Brooke eyed the man next to Lucas. Jim didn't miss it either. He eyed the gorgeous brunette from head to toes.

"Sorry, who are you?" she asked.

"Uh… my name's Jimmy" he replied shyly.

"Hi!" she greeted with a big smile. This was really awkward. Lucas sighed deeply while the two others shook hands.

"What do you want Brooke?" he snapped.

"Understand, Lucas. I want to understand why three weeks ago you were so devastated that you tried to kill yourself and now you act like you just don't care about anything anymore", she spat. Jim eyes abruptly went from Brooke to Lucas.

"Maybe that's the point. Now I'm sorry Brooke but I don't have time for you so next time you wanna talk, don't fake bumping into me!" he growled. His voice was so cold.

A hint of sadness appeared in her face.

"Lucas, you know I care about you, right?"

Lucas shrugged and pushed her aside "Whatever…" he mumbled.

"Luke!"

"Just leave me the fuck alone!" he yelled. Jim tried catching up on Lucas. He figured the kid had walked out pretty often in his life because now he was really good at it.

They both hopped in the car and left. Brooke had tried catching up but she never could.

Lucas didn't have the strength to drive. He had pulled over at the first spot and switched places with Jim. He was just so damn tired. After a long silence, Jim finally spoke.

"Ok, are all your friends such hotties?"

"Uhhh" Lucas turned confused eyes to him.

"That pregnant girl and Brooke, she was hot!" Jim chimed.

"Yeah, whatever…" Lucas could only moan. He was barely able to hold himself up and stay awake.

"Are you okay?" Jim asked.

"No. no, I'm not! Truth is I feel like a worthless piece of shit and I'm just so fucking tired!" he said. His head rolled on the window again. Jim watched him fall asleep.

"What was she talking about?"

After a moment he heard, "Who?"

"Brooke?"

"You talking about her outburst on my suicide attempt?" Lucas whispered.

Jim didn't answer. Lucas figured it meant yes.

"I'll tell you what happened, then…" he started.

_**Flashback**_

_Brooke had finally convinced him to go home. Lucas was sad and happy at the same time. Maybe he'd finally get some sleep in a comfortable bed. Nothing like the plastic waiting room chairs or the uncomfortable couch in Peyton's room. _

_He thought maybe he could drop by his mom's room and say 'hi'. When he walked closer to the room, he heard laughs. His head started aching as he saw images in his head. Flashbacks. The laughs sounded familiar. He poked his head through the door and saw his mom with Dan. _

_Dan dropped something to the floor and bent to grab it. Luke saw a flash of him bending down to grab a gun. It all came clear to him. The shooting day was no longer a mystery. _

_Her mom was holding a baby. His sister. Ok, so his mom had given birth to her baby and nobody thought of telling him?! He didn't even know about it. He tried seeing more but the view just became disgusting. _

_Lucas turned his back onto the wall and rested his head on it while he listened to his mom and Dan. _

"_You think we should've told Lucas?" Karen asked._

"_Not yet… and by the way, he would know if he wasn't so caught up with his precious Peyton!" Dan replied. Lucas' insides burned. He had to get away._

_He went back home, totally wrecked. The only thing he could think of doing was to lock himself in the bathroom. He slid on the floor and stared at his hands. Then it came up to his wrist. It had a large cut on it. He had tried cutting himself only a few times but he knew it felt good._

_Lucas found a razor blade and blinked away the tears while he cut through his barely healed flesh. It started feeling really good. Too good that the blade went a little too deep. He could feel his blood running down his arm. He pulled his other sleeve and did the same thing as he didn't realize the other one was bleeding heavily. _

_He started feeling really dizzy until everything just went black._

_**End of Flashback**_

"Jesus" Jim whispered.

"And it's all I remember before I woke up in the Hospital with my brother and his wife by my sides" Lucas finished.

"At least they were there!"

"They did it because they felt guilty", Lucas could feel how tired he was getting again.

"You're not gonna tell the others, right?" he added.

"Don't worry, I didn't even tell Larry anything" Jim promised.

"Thanks" was all Lucas said before sinking into a deep slumber.

Jim didn't argue. He knew it would only be for the best if Lucas slept a little. After all, he had gotten a rough night.

When they got to his house, Jim looked at it and grimaced. He really didn't want to wake Lucas but did he really have a choice? He hated doing it but he had to.

Jim opened the car door and slid his arm under Lucas' shoulders.

"Come on, buddy. We're going on a walk" he cheered.

Lucas groaned but he somehow managed to pull himself out before totally hanging onto Jim. The older man walked his friend to his room.

"Here we are" he said leading Lucas into the bed. Lucas growled and slid under the covers before he was back into his deep sleep.

OTH

A yummy smell woke him in the morning. It was making everything seem prettier. The soft smell of a great breakfast was coming to his nostrils and almost pulling him towards the kitchen. Lucas walked out of the bed and stumbled to the kitchen.

"What's that smell?"

"Breakfast! So what is your stomach calling for?"

"Everything!" Lucas chuckled. He was starving. It seemed even worse when he saw all the great plates pass before his nose. There was really everything. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, ham, fruits and toasts. Lucas held the same look in his eyes as a little kid who'd be watching a candy store window. Jim made two big plates and placed one in front of Lucas' craving eyes.

"Think you're gonna like that?"

"Think I'm gonna love that! Thank you!" he cheered.

With that, he stabbed a sausage with his fork and ate it with great appetite. They were soon done and Jim proposed they could go see some friends of his. Lucas accepted. They all met in an apartment in Wilmington. There were only a few guys but from the looks of it, they seemed nice.

Lucas was sitting on a couch, as much as everyone else and they enjoyed a beer while talking.

"So you're the kid who saved Larry's ass?"

Lucas smiled. "Yeah"

"That was brave from you. Wait, yeah I remember you! You're the one who punched Bill, right?" one of them said.

This time, Luke didn't know if he had to smile or to be sorry for that.

"Don't worry kid, you know he deserved it!" the man laughed at Lucas' expression.

Another guy came into the room with a bag of powder, a spoon and needles.

"Who's up for a lil' shot?" the man asked.

"I think I'm going to pass…" Lucas said. The men turned to him.

"You're kidding, right? Don't be a pussy! You know you want it!"

"He went pretty hard on it last time" Jim explained.

"Made you feel better?" a man asked.

"Sure, but…" Lucas started.

"Then why are you even asking yourself?!"

Lucas nodded. The bad Lucas. Of course, the little angel on his side yelled to refuse it but the other part, the one that had been controlling him lately, was yelling for salvation.

"_Don't do that, Lukie!"_ the little angel yelled.

"Shut up you little dork!" he spat. A guy eyed him.

"You okay?"

"More than okay!" Lucas said fiercely.

He took off his hoodie, leaving him in a white tank top and his jeans.

"Nice tattoo!" someone said. Luke grabbed his shoulder and smiled.

The heroin was ready, the syringes were loaded, time to escape the pain and finally feel better.

After a while, everyone was pretty much having a bad trip. Lucas was totally out until a voice called him. He thought it was his imagination again but the voice came clearer. It was coming from the real world. Luke shook his head to see to whom this angelic voice belonged to.

He was met by a pair of wide and deep baby blues, circled by layers of black make up and soft skin. He couldn't get his eyes off of into hers. Her black hair came into view as much as her plain expression.

"Shelly?"

"Wow, so you remember me! This wasn't some random fuck after all!"

Lucas' head was spinning and he was seeing two more eyes in the girl's face.

"Why didn't you call me?" she asked sadly.

"Busy…" he said weakly.

"Did you at least think about it?" she asked.

Lucas was really feeling the effect of the drugs now.

"Nope…" he said groggily before he totally passed out.

**TBC**

**Hehe, I'm glad I finally updated this. Let me know if you guys still like this story. So in the next chapters you should see a little of Dan'****s POV, Lucas' drug addiction grows way worse and Haley is finally out of the hospital and taking a break from mommy job to watch on her friend… no matter what. Might also bring Bill back soon. Let me know if I should still write this. **

**Thanks for sticking with me in my crazy ideas! **


	7. this is not a game, this is real!

**It's been too long, I'm totally sorry. For those who are ready to get back into my craziness, here is a new chapter of Losing My Religion. **

**OTH**

Colors and sounds danced behind his shut lids. His head spun and he felt like he was falling but he would never hit the ground. His body ached. His throat was sore, his mouth was dry and his head felt like it was going to split open. A long shiver went down his spine as cold sweat poured out his cold skin. There was a soft murmur in the distance. It was begging for him. He groaned. Moving pictures came and went, fading smiles and dying laughs haunted his every thought.

Lucas softly stirred awake. The room was dark and cold. He did not know where he was, or how he had ended up there. It took him a few seconds to adjust to the reality that hit him once again. Then he saw her. That utopian beauty, she was staring right back at him, pressing a cloth on his burning forehead.

"Shelly?" he asked softly.

"Shh…" her lips attracted him as she hushed him.

"Where am I?" he asked a little confused.

"You're in my apartment. I brought you back here last night," she said in a totally different tone than what he knew of her.

"Why?" he inquired.

"Because you were so stoned that you couldn't even stay awake!" she spat. The sound of her voice worsened his headache. She was spitting wprds with such coldness. He raised a hand to his forehead, in order to stop the pain.

"Take these. The headache will go away," she said handing him two pills. He moaned something that sounded like a thank you before swallowing the pills dry. She gave him some water so it went down more easily.

"What happened last night, Lucas?" she asked seriously.

"I was hoping you could tell me," he confessed. She looked serious, even pissed off.

"I'm not talking about you shooting up all the heroin of the world. Don't I mean anything to you?!" she snapped.

Lucas frowned. "I hardly know you, Shelly!" he explained.

"That didn't stop you from having sex with me the other night!" she exclaimed.

Lucas looked down for a second, awaiting the clash that would come after his answer. "I was desperate and alone…" he whispered. She exploded. "So what am I, the rebound girl? The hooker you go to after a long and boring day! I thought we had fun!" she spat.

Lucas was searching for his words. "We did! What I'm saying is that I need some time to get to know you!" he tried. She stopped and thought for a second. That's when her eyes landed on the scars. She hadn't noticed them before. Her eyes went wide. Lucas saw the way she was looking and pulled his wrists out of sight.

"That was nothing for you to see," he growled. Her eyes had changed. She had gone from mad to merciful. She sighed.

"Is that why you went to see my dad?" she asked.

"Kind of… I needed to give my life a new direction. I was tired of being the puppet for everyone. I just wanted to feel alive," he admitted. She gave him a sympathetic smile.

"How about us being really good friends?" she then proposed. Lucas smirked.

"You could come to me when you need help," she added. He nodded. "I'd like that" he replied. She smiled. "Do I get the benefits?" she continued with a large grin. He winked. "That sounds just perfect," he said with a smile. She reached closer and they softly kissed.

OTH

Haley and Nathan had never been happier. They were spending all their time together at the Hospital. Since Haley was still on bed rest after giving birth, they called all their friends to visit. They even got Karen to get out of her house for a change. She brought Lily along when she went to see them. They were having a chat about having kids when Haley changed the subject.

"Have you talked to Lucas lately?" she asked Karen. The woman shook her head.

"Not since he moved out," she replied. Haley nodded.

"He came here yesterday," Haley continued. Karen's eyes widened, showing her interest in the news.

"How is he?" she dared to ask.

"Not much better than before. There is something though, we crossed him twice in here with another man. A tall man with tattoos. I saw him once, a couple of days ago and Brooke saw him yesterday. Each time, Lucas seems in a hurry and he won't talk to us…" Haley explained. Karen shrugged.

"He's eighteen now. I can't control his every move. He has the right to do what he wants even if we don't agree with his choices" she said wisely. Haley nodded.

"He was weird though. At some point I thought maybe he was on something… I don't know," she added. Karen frowned.

"I don't know about that but like I said, he's old enough to make his own decisions. If he wants to screw his life up, it's up to him. If he doesn't want to see any of us again, it's his choice. Don't push him. Anyway, I know him. He'll probably come around some day. It's just a phase. We'll get him back someday," she told the new mom.

Haley weakly smiled. "I hope you're right…"

OTH

Shelly drove Lucas back to Jim's house. They waved goodbye before he got out of the car and went inside the house. He quickly got to his room and plopped himself into the comfort of his bed.

A soft knock pulled him out of his comfort. He looked up to see Jim, leaning on the door frame.

"Where were you?" he asked.

Lucas groaned. "Uh, Shelly brought me to her house after I passed out 'cause of the drugs…" he trailed off. Jim nodded.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I know you didn't really want to do it" he apologized. A part of Lucas wanted to say that he really wanted this but the other part told him to deny that craving and fake being the innocent kid. Truth be told, he was really starting to enjoy it.

He gave Jim a small nod before digging his head into the pillow. He came out just in time to ask his question.

"Uh Jim? Do we have anything special? Because I'd take the day to sleep it off…" Lucas asked. Jim offered him a smirk.

"Go ahead, sleepy head. Next thing is Sunday morning. Till then, you're free!" he replied. Lucas smiled. "Nice…and what's Sunday morning?"

"Larry's getting discharged, so if you wanna come…" he trailed off.

"I'll be there," Lucas promised. Jim gave him thumbs up and closed the door on his way out. Lucas growled before drifting off into a light slumber.

OTH

Sunday morning arrived softly. Lucas and Jim stood in the waiting area while the doctors wheeled Larry out. As he got closer, Lucas' smile grew higher. He couldn't wait to go out with his two friends again. When the three were on the same spot, Larry got out of the chair, his arm in a sling. Lucas' eyes stayed on Larry's shoulders for a while, then he let go, seeing his friend was gonna be okay. They hugged and laughed at seeing each other.

Haley had gone out of her room to get some juice when she saw all three of them hugging. She hid and watched for a second. The sight hit her like a sucker punch. Lucas was happy. He was smiling, shinning, genuinely. She hadn't seen that smile of his since… since maybe the night the spent together on the roof of the café, during their water balloon fight. Of course, he has had other happy moments since then but that smile instantly remind her of that. Her only thought now was to discover who these two men were and what they did to Lucas for him to be so happy.

Larry was happy with the greetings he got. He was especially happy to be alive, thanks to Lucas.

"How about we throw a little party, to celebrate your return" Jim proposed.

"I don't know about that," Larry said reluctantly.

"Aww, come on man, it'll be fun. Just the three of us with beer and a movie," Lucas insisted. Larry nodded.

"Alright, alright. The three of us, maybe beer and a movie. Nothing more!" Larry agreed. Lucas widely smiled.

"Great! And who says movie says let's go to Bill's place!" Lucas chimed. The two others looked at him as if he had just walked into a store in pajamas.

"What?" Jim and Larry said in one voice.

"Come on, guys! It does have the biggest TV I have ever seen in my entire life!" Lucas argued. "Maybe but you forget who owns the place!" Jim replied.

"And forget about a quiet guy party if we go there!" Larry added.

"So what?! Is it a problem if we meet a couple of friends?! They'll all be happy to see you alive!" Lucas pleaded. Jim sighed. "All right, I'll call Bill. But no more than a few friends and a couple of beers!" he gave in. Lucas smiled. "Awesome! Let's do this!"

OTH

The place was crowded. For a few friends, there were a lot. Bill had invited all his employees and pretty much all of them had a girlfriend or a whore around their arms. Beer was flowing like water, as much as gin and vodka. Lucas had even gotten himself his special drink and since he'd had a couple of ones before, his night was going just fine. There was a game of football on TV so everyone was stuck on the couch. Lucas was impressed by the quality and the size of the image.

Since his mother was never really rich, the only television they got was quite average and he could never watch football or basketball because his mom was always watching her damn soap operas that always had to play when there was a game on. He was getting a little boozy, but so was everyone else so no one really noticed. No one except Larry. Larry was the only one who didn't really enjoy the party. He hadn't gotten anything else than a beer and he hated football.

Lucas was so loud that he was easy to follow. He half-shouted that he needed to take a piss and left. Larry followed him with his eyes to see that he wasn't going to the bathroom at all. He actually went to a guy and they disappeared in a dark corner. Larry had to force his eyes to see what was going on with Lucas. He managed to see him shake hands with the man and put something in his back pocket. He immediately turned his eyes to not meet Lucas'.

The teenager came back fifteen minutes later to catch up with the rest of the party. At the end, he was totally wasted. Jim too was pretty tipsy. Larry was disappointed in both of them and got his first scare when Lucas proposed to drive.

"Hell no Lucas, you're not driving!" Larry shouted.

"Who are you, my mother? No you're not!" Lucas said in between hick ups and laughs. Jim seemed to find it funny too. He laughed at repeating after Lucas. Larry wasn't finding it funny. Not at all.

"You're an idiot! You're way too drunk to drive! You're going to kill yourself!" Larry sermonized. Lucas burst out laughing.

"Maybe I just don't care!" he giggled. Larry was boiling. This immaturity was just pissing him off.

"Goddamn it, Lucas! Grow up! Stop playing the little kid who wants to be badass. This is real! If all of this is just a joke to you, you can go! But Christ! You saved my life and now I'm just trying to save yours!" Larry shouted.

Lucas had stopped laughing. He mumbled a sorry before throwing up in the gutter. After that, he slid in the back of his car and let sleep wash over him. Larry sighed. He helped Jim join Lucas, got someone to drive them off and he followed them up to Jim's house.

OTH

Lucas woke up with a pounding headache and a bad taste in his mouth. This time, it was Larry who came into his room with a cup of coffee and aspirin. He handed them to Lucas who took them with a thankful nod. Larry sat next to him.

"Are you alright?" he asked Lucas. The kid groaned, holding his head.

"My head hurts really bad," he replied.

Larry offered him a sympathetic smile. "If you hadn't drunk all the alcohol of the mini-bar, maybe you'd be okay," he offered. Lucas rolled his eyes.

"That much?" he asked.

"Well…" the other started, "You were pretty wasted".

"Yeah, I remember" Lucas said. "You do?" Larry asked surprised.

"Some of it, yeah. The rest is a blur," he admitted.

"Maybe it's for the best," Larry proposed.

"I do remember the driving part," Lucas confessed, looking down. Larry put a hand on his shoulder.

"I hope you didn't mean it when you said that you didn't care if you'd die" he said. Lucas didn't respond. He just shrugged.

"I'm here if you need to talk" the other added.

"Thanks" Lucas murmured before taking another sip of coffee.

"So…I'm waiting" Larry said. Lucas looked at him with a questioning look. "For what?" he asked.

"For you to open up to me" Larry replied.

"About what?" Lucas asked.

"About your drug addiction" the other spat. Lucas went silent.

"I don't know what you're talking about" he simply said. Larry started laughing. "Don't play dumb with me! Please, you're insulting me!" he replied. Lucas shrugged.

"I saw you with the man yesterday. He gave you drugs, didn't he?" Larry asked. Lucas looked hurt and betrayed.

"No! He gave me a phone number!" he replied on the defensive. "Oh really?" Larry said in a sarcastic tone. He pulled his hand out for Lucas' back pocket but found it empty.

"Where is it?" he asked. "I told you it was a phone number! I entered it in my phone and threw the paper away!" Lucas jerked. He was getting angry about this. Larry sighed. He raised his hands in surrender.

"All right! I'll trust you this time but don't make it a habit! It's wrong and you know it! Drugs are really dangerous matters and you know that too! I don't want you ruining your life for something stupid! Understand?" he spat in a motherly way.

Lucas nodded. Larry smiled, gave him a little tap on the shoulder and went out. Lucas let out a sigh of relief. He dressed up and went for the bathroom where he locked himself.

He let his frail body slide down the wall, untied his belt and wrapped it around his arm. He reached for his socks and pulled out the little bag he had gotten the night before. He took out his lighter, his spoon and prepared his heroin. Once in the syringe, he took a deep breath before shooting happiness into his veins. He gave the drug a few minutes to do her job and smiled as he sank back into that comfort he was once again craving for.

OTH

**TBC**

**This is it for now. I hope this was a good re-starter for this story and I hope you guys don't hate me too much for making you wait so long. Reviews are always appreciated, let me know what you thought, liked, hated, and I'll deliver for next time. Thanks for reading and see you soon.**

**Next: as everyone gets better, Lucas gets a new call from his boss and adventure starts again. Only this time, he might wanna make sure no one's around or he might get into some trouble, something even worse than getting your mama pissed off because you haven't called her...**


	8. sinking deeper

**A/N : Don't hate me now! This story's been hanging for years. I am sorry about that. Truth is I haven't watched One Tree Hill in years! I lost interest after season 4 but kept watching up to the sixth. Then when Peyton and Lucas left I decided it was my time to go as well. But I did enjoy my stories and promised to complete them someday. If you're still ready to give me a chance, then here goes the new chapter! **

**I also went back and beta'd all the previous chapters to increase the quality of this piece of work! Enjoy! **

**OTH**

It had been a week now since Larry had been released from the Hospital. He was currently living at Jim's place because the doctors had been clear when saying that it was best to not leave him alone. He'd been shot in the shoulder after all and even though he'd recovered pretty quickly, there were still things that he couldn't do on his own.

Lucas had enjoyed it at first because he loved the chemistry when it was the three of them together. It only lasted for a short time though, until he realized Larry was one hell of a mother-hen. The man knew about the drugs and he was watching him so closely that the kid had a hard time finding a quiet place to shoot up.

That was something else that had been going on for the past week. Lucas found himself craving for the injections. At first, he only did it from time to time when he lacked the happiness the drug brought him. But he soon found out that he couldn't just do that anymore. His cravings were more and more visceral and he felt physically awful when he was craving.

He had thinned impossibly more since he'd been hanging around Bill's guys. He'd seen Shelly a few times as well. She'd respected their arrangement and Lucas went to her when he needed help. That really meant when he needed a quiet place to go chasing.

This morning was not different than the previous ones. Lucas woke up with a headache. He realized he'd slept for over twelve hours. That wasn't like him, but then he figured he must have needed the sleep. He went for a quick shower before joining his friends in the kitchen.

They turned to him in surprise when he walked into the room.

"Well, well, look who lives here! I'm sorry kid, I had forgotten since we're not used to seeing you" Larry teased. Jim glared at him for a second before turning a reassuring smile to Lucas.

"Don't listen to him, here have a coffee" Jim proposed. Lucas nodded his thanks before joining his friends at the table.

Jimmy had become more significant to him in the past few days than most of the people he'd considered like friends in his whole life. The older man was really protective of him, especially with Larry watching him like a hawk.

Lucas took a few sips of his coffee and put it down, in time to catch his breath. Larry frowned but he let it pass for this time.

"So what're the plans for t'day" Lucas spoke lazily, blinking up at Jim.

"Well, I was thinking about starting you on a special training" he proposed. The kid blinked with a confused expression.

"Nothing to harsh, I promise. Just the basics of self-defense and a few offensive moves" he explained. Lucas nodded.

"Ok, I'm in"

Larry looked up at the two. He wasn't wearing a sling anymore but he had to be careful with his shoulder.

"Am I supposed to come?" he asked, wondering if he was still a part of the action.

"Well, your shoulder…"

"Is fine, mom. I don't have to strain, myself, I can just watch!" he spat.

Jim nodded and with that they were out. They found a quiet spot and blessed the comfortable weather that allowed them to stay outside. Larry found a spot to sit and watch while Jimmy and Lucas started warming up.

Lucas' movements were sluggish. Jim was trying to show him how to get free from someone's grasp. Lucas tried but he was sloppy. The eldest tried to change his approach and show the kid some offensive moves, hoping to reach his attention and interest. Lucas managed to get in a few punches before Jim stopped giving chances and charged back.

It was the kid's turn to receive punches and he fell flatly on his ass, his body numb. He didn't have any more energy and he was racing to catch his breath again. Jim sighed.

"Luke, what's going on with you?" he asked, concerned.

"'m tired" the youngest moaned.

"I can see that! But you hardly moved. Do you want to learn to defend yourself or you just don't care?!"

Lucas closed his eyes and sighed. "Don' know… don' care…" he whispered, his shoulders slouched.

Jimmy clenched his fist and without warning, sucker punched Lucas.

The kid was wildly alert now, his eyes wide in confusion and pain. "What the fuck was that for?" he shouted.

The eldest smiled. "Just wanted to see some reaction into you, you're losing it, kiddo!"

Lucas shook his head and walked away.

"Come on, Luke!" Jimmy yelled but the kid didn't turn back.

He sighed and came to rest next to his friend who had watched the whole scene from the side.

"What's up with him?" Jim asked.

Larry looked at him with sad eyes. "He's sinking deeper than we thought" he replied.

OTH

Lucas locked himself in the bathroom. He started shivering and sweating. The only thing he could think of was the small bag of powder that he'd taken the habit of bringing with him. He let himself slide to the floor and grabbed the bag between his shaky fingers.

He didn't bring all of his material because there was no way that he could hide it in his clothes without the guys noticing. Instead he carried a straw so that he could snort small amounts of his pain reliever. The effect wasn't as intense and surely not as fast but it kept him waiting until he could shoot again.

He did what needed to be done and waited for the drugs to have their effect on him. Once it did, his body stopped aching and the tremors died down. He felt better and painless.

He ran back out to meet the boys again. He was calmer now.

"What the hell took you so long?" Jimmy asked.

Lucas shrugged. "Sorry, had to take a shit"

Larry nodded but he didn't believe it.

"You're high" he said softly.

Lucas snapped. "What? No! "

"Whatever" he replied, disappointed.

Lucas was about to reply when he felt his pocket vibrate. A quick glance at the others made it clear that their phones had been ringing too. "Bill's calling" Lucas said, grateful for the escape and the switch of attention.

"Yes but it doesn't mean you're off the hook just yet. We'll talk later" Jim said softly. Lucas swallowed and finally nodded.

OTH

They made it to the basement quickly enough and Bill was indeed waiting for them to show up. After short greetings, the bald man handed files to his mobsters.

"Thanks for being here so quickly. I've got an interesting case for you"

Lucas opened the file and he could swear his heart stopped beating right there when he saw the picture of the man they would be getting payback from. This couldn't be possible. No way.

Jim and Larry also checked the data from the files.

"He feels familiar" Larry said.

Jim nodded. "Mister Mayor" he grinned.

Sam's stomach flipped back and forth and he tried to swallow down the rising nausea.

"So we have to go after this man? " Larry asked.

Bill nodded.

"He used to own a car dealership back in the days but it went down in flames one night. He's never told this to anybody but he lost a lot of money at that time. He borrowed from me and I was a fool to let him convince me that he'd pay me back" he explained.

The men nodded.

"He did at first but then he stopped very recently, saying that he didn't see the point anymore and that I could stick it where the sun don't shine… you get the picture" he finished.

Everyone nodded again. Everyone but Lucas, who was now staring blankly, his face incredibly pale.

"You okay, kid?" Bill asked.

Lucas snapped out of it and turned to his Boss.

"Right, we'll take care of it" he moaned. Bill frowned but decided to drop the matter.

"Okay then, you know what you have to do! Go get my money back from this Dan Scott"

OTH

The three men sat in the car and no one spoke. They were driving towards the address that was in the file. Lucas hadn't gotten any colors back to his face. What had he gotten himself into if he was now running after his own father? Of course, Jim and Larry didn't know that because if they did, there was no way they would let him tag along.

"You okay, Luke? You haven't said a word ever since we got the file" Jim asked, concerned.

"I'm thinking maybe we should cover our faces. The man has contacts after all so if we fail, we can be in trouble if he finds out who we are" Lucas proposed.

"Not bad, kid. You're right" Larry admitted, happy to finally hear some sense coming out of the kid's mouth.

Jim still looked at him with concern though. That didn't explain why Lucas looked so shaken up. But if the kid wasn't talking, he wouldn't push it.

They reached the beach house where Dan was currently living. Lucas couldn't believe he was actually going to do that. He hated the man but not to the point of going in his house and killing him if he had to.

"What's the plan?" Jim asked. Larry was better at this.

"He's got to have a back door that leads to the beach. Let's say we go in through that door so we don't get seen wearing ski masks" he started. The two others nodded, putting the masks on already.

"Once were in, we circle him and pull out our guns. It's the only option. There is no gently-talking-this-man-into giving-us-the-money here. We get it as fast as we can and we run" he said.

Lucas and Jimmy nodded. Lucas had to take deep breaths to try to calm his racing heart.

"Ready?" Larry asked.

The three nodded. They went out of the car, careful not to attract any attention. It was getting dark outside so it made it a little easier for them to go unnoticed. They ran around the house and easily found the back door that indeed connected to the beach. They reached it and Jim got a small tool out of his pocket. Lucas looked at it curiously. He saw that his friend used it to pick at the lock on the door.

It took a few seconds and a few tries before the door gave in. Jim placed a finger on his lips to indicate for his friends to keep quiet. He then motioned for them to go in, all three holding their guns out in front of them. They heard the TV was on and walked towards the sound.

They reached the living room and prepared mentally to charge. Larry attracted the two others' attention and made a countdown with his fingers. 3, 2, 1…

And they charged into the living room to find it empty. They looked at each other, wide eyed when they were too late to realize that Dan was standing behind Jim. He knocked him out with a bronze statuette and Jim fell to the floor, out cold.

Dan was panting at this point. "Who are you and what do you want? "

Larry put his gun up and pointed it at Dan's chest. Lucas did the same.

"Drop the statuette and move away from him or you're dead before you hit the ground" Larry threatened.

Dan looked at him and fear flashed across his face. He put the statuette down and did step away from Jim's body.

"Mister Scott, you stole something from my Boss and he just wants it back. You give it to us and we will leave here and never bother you again" he said.

Dan swallowed.

"Who are we talking about?"

"Oh, you know who. You still owe him and he won't let you go until he's retrieved every penny" Larry chuckled.

A moan came from the ground and Jim started to stir. Dan wanted to make a move but Larry grabbed his gun tighter and pointed it at the man more violently.

"Don't. Just give us the damn money so we can leave" he asked.

Dan nodded. "Alright. I'll write you a check. Just let me get them…" he started.

"Wait!"

Dan froze. Larry turned to Lucas. "You're not going alone, old man" he announced. Lucas sent Larry a terrified look before turning to his father and nodding. He had a mask on, after all. Dan wouldn't know it was him if he didn't talk.

Dan nodded too and left to go to his room, Lucas on his tail. Larry went to Jim and pulled his friend up. Jim rubbed the back of his head with a pained expression.

"Are you okay? " Larry asked. Jim nodded although closing his eyes through the residual pain.

Dan was looking for something into his drawer and somehow Lucas found himself studying him. The old man sighed and shuffled through his stuff. Lucas stared ahead and ended up spacing out of it. He came to quickly though when he felt the side of something connect with his head. He fell backwards with a moan.

Larry was running through the door within seconds, pointing his gun at Dan's head. The old man had a gun too now. Jim turned to Lucas whom was now unconscious on the ground.

"You thought you could get away? There are three of us" Larry growled.

Dan swallowed.

"Drop your gun" Larry said.

Dan hesitated. "Now! " Larry added with a force in his voice. Dan nodded when Jim too had a gun on him and finally dropped his weapon.

"Kick it towards here" Larry ordered again.

Dan looked at him with pure hatred and gave the gun a kick. It was Lucas' turn to groan as he came to.

"Write the damn check and then we leave" Larry finished.

Dan sighed and breathed in and out quickly. Seeing as he had no other options, he signed the check and handed it over to Jim's waiting hand.

"Thank you! Now that wasn't so hard, was it? " he snapped.

Dan growled and clenched his fists.

"We're leaving now" Jim said, grabbing Dan's gun and starting to pull away, helping Lucas up from where he had fallen on the ground. They started walking back to the back door when they heard a shriek from the side.

They turned only to realize that they weren't alone anymore. There was a petite woman with brown hair standing a distance from them. She'd been the one to scream and Lucas' heart skipped several measures when he recognized his mother.

Dan had run to the room quickly when he heard the scream.

"Karen? Are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't know you were here" Dan apologized. Karen was shaking, trying to hold her daughter steadily in her arms.

"What's going on, who are they? " she panicked, eyeing the three men.

Lucas was panicking too. His breathings were so loud that there was no way they wouldn't be able to tell that he was nervous.

Larry hated to do this but he pulled his gun up towards the couple.

"We have to call the cops" Karen cried when she saw the gun pointing towards her. Her breath caught in her throat and tears spilled from her eyes.

"Sorry M'am but I can't let you do that" Larry spoke. He was ready to shoot.

Lucas snapped out of his mind as panic reached a climax.

"Don't hurt her!" he screamed. Larry was surprised by the outburst and turned towards the kid.

"Let's just go" Lucas pleaded.

Larry nodded and he was the first out of the door, Jim after him. Lucas turned to check on his mother one last time. Maybe he shouldn't have. It broke his heart.

"Luke?" she whispered softly. His eyes widened but he was out before she could see it.

Of course she would recognize his voice. But then if he hadn't screamed, Larry might have shot her. He couldn't let that happen. But now his mother knew. She knew it was him and that was killing him more than anything else.

They reached the car and sped away within seconds. They wouldn't stand around here even for one more second. They had their money, it's all that mattered.

Lucas was sitting in the back, staring out of the window. His stomach was still threatening to rebel on him. He thought back to the look on his mother's face when she called his name and he felt the bile rise up his throat.

Jim turned to study Lucas' face. "Are you okay, kiddo? You're kinda quiet" he said.

Lucas' face blanched. "Stop the car" he urged.

"What? Why? " Larry asked from the driver's seat.

"Stop the fucking car!" Lucas screamed.

Larry nodded and stopped on the side of the road. Lucas slid out just in time to not vomit into the car. He kneeled on the side of the road and let the nausea assault him.

The two others came behind him and stayed back while the kid finished emptying his stomach. When he was done, Lucas sat against the side of the car and closed his eyes as exhaustion got the best of him.

"Are you okay, Luke?" Jim asked, concerned again.

Lucas shook his head and his eyes filled with tears. He clutched his head in hopes of shutting the pain off.

"Wait, let me check your eyes" Larry said, pushing his way to Lucas and grabbing his flash light. He held Lucas' face and shone the bright light directly into both eyes.

"I think you've got a concussion, kid. Jim too. That guy hit you both pretty hard. He even knocked the both of you out!" he said.

Jim and Lucas looked at each other with annoyed faces. They knew what happened and didn't need to be reminded. Lucas was glad though because he could use it as an excuse for how bad he physically reacted. The guys didn't need to know they had tried to kill both his parents.

They got back to the basement and Bill was chiming when he saw the check.

"Nice work, boys. Now go get some rest, you look like you need it!"

Some of the guys there tried to attract Lucas' attention, inviting him to join them and shoot up with them.

Lucas shook his head. After what he'd been through, he really didn't feel like it.

They drove back to Jim's house and Larry watched over him for night, waking him up every once in a while to make sure that his concussion didn't worsen. He'd probably have a headache for a while but he'd be okay.

What had him react the most was that after seeing his mother's face, he felt terribly dirty. He suddenly decided that there would be no more drugs from now on. There was nothing he hated more than the look of fear and disgust from his own parents.

So yes, whatever happened to him, this had to stop. Right?

And that's when the pain of withdrawal started.

TBC

**Here's my come back after so many years. I've pretty much planned the rest of the story in my head and feel like finishing it. I hope you're still with me! **

**Next on: Karen's reaction to her son's new extracurricular activities, Lucas' reaction to his own activity with the great pleasure of detoxing and well, I might have a couple of big rebounds left for this story. I'd like to put in a little bit of Lucas' old friends too.**

**What do you think? Don't forget to review, thank you and sorry again for the delay!**


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